Lead the Change, Unleash the Development......

2011, I have learned!!

2011-12-19T15:12:00.000+08:00

Yet another year is coming to an end! How different are we now than from the start of the year? Would we rather be what we were at the start of the year or have we grown up in a positive way this year? Have we loved enough this year, have we made a difference to someone's life this year?

Personally, I feel I have grown up a bit more this year. And have learned some good lessons:

1. I have learned that the best way of dealing with a conflict is to talk it out straight with the person in question - whether professionally or personally. If you do discuss with others, be ready to be swayed in a direction you might not want, or worst still - make a big issue of something small
2. Your work is not your life, it is just a part of your life. There are more important things in life than work.
3. Quitting is not a answer to the problems. You fight till the end, even if you fail you would have tried.
4. My worst fear is not of heights or ghosts but of losing people I love the most.
5. Health is wealth - cherish it and make all efforts to keep it in good shape!
6. The best holiday is when we go back home - it is only then that we actually rest! Take at least once a year.
7. It is important to dress up and look good :-)
8. No one else can make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.
9. You need time with your girlfriends to keep you sane! My Sundays are usually booked for them.
10. Above all, I have learned that life is most beautiful when it is shared with loved ones! Find a colleague you love, love your family, spend time with your loved ones as much as you can! Happiness is right there.

45 lessons from a 90 year old!!

2011-12-03T19:44:00.002+08:00

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio. Forwarded by an acquaintance

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

11!!

2011-11-26T19:06:00.000+08:00

11 is considered to be an auspicious number in the Hindu tradition. Doesn't come as a surprise that the 11th country I visited is my favourite place so far. Earlier this month, I went to New Zealand and fell deeply in love with the country. Apart from an awesome company, there were many things which I loved about my trip to New Zealand. Let me try to summarize it in 11 points.

The place is an untouched paradise. It is too beautiful to be believed and very well preserved. It seems that all the beautiful photos of scenery and houses have been pasted right in front of my eyes.
The people surely are very helpful. They always give way, help people out and the place is quite safe.
I did skydiving from 15,000 ft at Queenstown with an amazing view
Nevis bungy from 134 m, in between the mountains and falling just above a fast flowing river
White water rafting in Rapids of class IV even when I have just started learning how to swim
Got a speeding ticket of a good amount and burst into laughing about it
Drove like crazy for 10 days but the drive was totally worth it with beautiful scenery all around
Stayed in all kinds of accommodation ranging from 5 star hotel to haunted palace to home stay
Saw Haka Dance by actual Maori live in front of me
Saw very distinct animals and plants, and of course cattle grazing on the mountains like in Bollywood movies
With this, I cover all inhabited continents of the world.

New Zealand is definitely a must visit place from my side.

The choice between giving my all and giving up!!

2011-10-11T19:54:00.004+08:00

Have you ever thought of quitting something - school, a job, a relationship, a society? I am sure all of us have thought of quitting something or the other at some point of our lives.. Sometimes it might be for a simple reason of being bored and the quest of finding something better, however, more often than not - it is from the fear of failing. People prefer to quit rather than fail.

Having had a few downs in one day, I was going to quit my goal yesterday, something for which I have been working since early this year and very rigorously since past couple of months. I was sure of my success until yesterday when I had a few set backs and I thought - "This isn't working, I don't think I have the energy anymore" Result - I had fever this morning and no will to go to work.

I just spent the day to choose between giving my everything in the next 20 days for what I have been working for, or just give it up. In the end, I chose the former. I will be disappointed if I fail but I will not be able to face myself if I give up. So here I am, all ready to be back in the game after a short break!!

Control Game!!

2011-08-09T22:51:00.005+08:00

Why do relationships/dating turn into a control game? "I will sms him only 3 days later, I can't call her now or she will gain control.." One of my friends even has a rule in her relationship of a couple of years to call her boyfriend only after he has called her 3 times - no matter how much she wants to talk to him, she wants to stay in control.

Isn't it ironic that we are playing manipulative mind games with the one person with whom we are supposed to be closest to, to let our real self be out with. If there is no self expression in the relationship then is it really worth it? Why can't one just drop a sms with just a smiley in the middle of the day to the guy one is dating for the fear of exposing one's vulnerability?

Let go of the control.. Be the one who is vulnerable because then you experience the most beautiful aspect of being with someone - security in all circumstances. And that is the real control..

A couple of steps ahead!!

2011-08-02T21:37:00.004+08:00

Earlier I used to have a section on my blog which stated my goals - usually about learning something new. I removed that section a few months back as I had made no progress whatsoever in achieving them for the past 4 years, except of course in the goal of visiting 30 countries by the age of 30 (Touching down on my 10th one in 2 days' time)

In the last month, I started making progress on 2 more. Cooking and Swimming - the latter being something I had wanted to do since I was a kid. Now cooking came effortlessly, probably from helping mom in the kitchen and asking her the recipes, and I became a good cook from my very first dish - now is just about improving it and experimenting a bit. Swimming needs to be learned still. Had my first lesson last week and I loved every aspect of it.

I am just happy that I took a proactive action to do things I have always wanted to do instead of waiting for the right moment! No moment is right unless you work on making it so.

Hello ME!!

2011-07-19T22:58:00.002+08:00

It is good to meet myself again after over 2 months.. Back to enjoying life and being happy even after 13 hrs of work.. Back to saying a heart-felt "Have a good evening" to the security guard while leaving office.. Back to saying thank you with a big smile to the lorry driver who waited at the zebra crossing while I was crossing the road..

Being sick sucks big time and I become a grumpy old lady when I am sick.. Almost recovered now, I feel alive!! Back to being ME :-)

Afterall - "Zindagi Zindadili ka naam hai, Murda dil kya khaak jiya karte hain"

To Each His Own!!

2011-07-14T23:17:00.004+08:00

I always wonder why do people want others to be like them, to enjoy what they enjoy, do things like they do and think like they think. That's why we end up liking people who are like us or are like who we want ourselves to be. A person who drinks alcohol would like the others to join, bosses like their employees to behave like them. I like my sister to be like me :P

Aren't we all meant to be different? If so, then why are the people who are different usually not very welcome anywhere. Why are they always bitched about? I have suffered from being asked to blend in too and most importantly, I have been guilty of judging people who are different. We live in a world where there are no absolutes. Everything is subjective - there is no right or wrong. Who gives us the right to decide that we are right and the other person is wrong.

So many times when we end up judging people, we don't take into account so many factors - the background, the past, the family, the education.. Nothing is constant for everyone in the world, except for the fact that we are all living. We all have different set of conditions, even though they might differ very slightly. Hence, the comparison doesn't make any sense. May be if we had the same conditions like the other person, we would have been exactly like that person. So lets give people the benefit of doubt and accept them as they are!!

Being Self-Righteous.. NOT!!

2011-04-10T21:29:00.004+08:00

Do you feel embarrassed about being right sometimes? About being a self-righteous person willing to put someone else down? Is being right and more importantly being acknowledged for being right so important? May be it is.. But is it worth it?

Two arguments with 2 close friends on something absolutely insignificant - that is my score for the week. Result - I couldn't prove that I was right, I upset them and then I felt down for making such a big fuss about almost immaterial things. And you know what is the worst of it all, I did not even apologize for what I did because I was too embarrassed about what I did.

No, I do not advocate that we should not stand up for what is right, what I am contemplating is that is it worth to prove that you are right about things which have no significance in your life whatsoever. Things which won't matter a few months down the road. I know I am guilty of doing it far too many times than I can remember.

Next time, I will try my best to not make a fuss about things that don't matter.. Spend some time probably to weigh the pros and cons of the argument before getting into one. One doesn't need to prove that she is right.. It is all about the state of mind.. And it is always great to be open to ideas and grow oneself even more as a person..

Let's not take life too seriously or make ourselves too significant. It is all about spreading happiness to whoever we reach out to.

Choice!!

2011-04-03T18:03:00.004+08:00

My grandmother shared with me a wonderful advice over 10 years back:

" When we are teenagers, we think we have the power to change the world and set everyone right.
When we grow slightly older we realize that the world might be slightly difficult, lets stick to changing our country;
Some years later, we move to changing only the city, then only our society, then perhaps our family;
And right when our time is over we realize, may be we should have started by changing ourselves and the rest would have followed"

It took me over 10 years ( and thankfully only 10) to realize the truth of this advice. As of 12:30 pm today I have realized that managing myself is probably the most difficult task I have been entrusted with while I live. I should have been in the gym at 12:30 instead of cuddling up in my bed; I should have been blogging sooner rather than after almost a 7 months break.

Life is all about the choices we make, moment by moment. Some of these choices are the big life changing ones, while the others can be pretty small ones like choosing to write this blog post rather than day dreaming. Our life after all is a sum of all these choices we make. As Dalai Lama says that it is a human tendency to choose something that gives you pleasure or doesn't make you uncomfortable. However, one should rather opt for choices which give you happiness.

A logical question is - Aren't pleasure and happiness synonyms? Well, no. Pleasure is something that lasts for a short time (might take you down for a guilt trip later) whereas happiness is long lasting. It might be uncomfortable in the start but it always leads to happiness, needless to say no guilt trips.

I now choose to be a bit more disciplined in life from now. The first step is to stick to the exercise plan for the Great Wall of China Marathon preparation. I have come up with a 5 days a week exercise program of my favourite exercises in the gym. And the second is to update this blog at least once a week.

When I named the blog "Lead the Change, Unleash the Development", it was more for leading the change in the world. From now, I change the context. It is driven more inwards. Lead myself to change and develop.

Mission Appreciation!!

2010-09-20T22:17:00.003+08:00

Being bed-ridden for the whole of last week, I was unusually cranky this weekend. One of those times when you don't know the reason of your mood swing and blow everything out of proportion. Feeling like the victim of everyone's unreasonable demands, I slept last night. While leaving for work, I checked my mobile to find this message from Siddharth Bhaiya:

"Thank you! For more than just waking me up!:)"

Instantly, all my crankiness vaporised. I felt so happy, so energized to contribute more to people. On my way to work, I could just not stop thinking about the effect that simple line had on me and the rest of my day. There are so many people who I have not appreciated for their effect on my life, the difference they bring to my days.

We get so caught up in life that we don't realize that so many people go out of their ways to make the small little gestures of love which make life beautiful. Its funny how we always take those people for granted who care the most for us, people who should be made to feel special all the time. Lets appreciate all the amazing people in our life, even if its just one person a day. A simple line of gratitude and appreciation can add immense happiness to someone's life. So, lets break free of our hectic life and start appreciating people. Lets start Mission Appreciation in our lives for the entire lifetime. Just a small step to make this world much more beautiful!

Being 21!!

2010-06-15T17:34:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day for me to be 21. I kind of like this age and had a lot of interesting (good as well as not-so-good) experiences in this year. Some major highlights for me are:

Getting Jane into my life and being a mother :)
Travelling to two different continents (North America and Africa) making my count to be 5 continents so far. Now, I am only left with Australia and Antarctica to reach my goal of all the continents by the age of 25 – I can write an entire blogpost on my travel experiences but will leave it for now.
Living with a couple of important relationships across continents.
Graduating from university and ending the long phase of being a student.
Working in slums for the very first time in my life (and that too in slums with HIV positive inhabitants)
Giving some job interviews and reaching the final rounds for them – still looking to get selected :P
Driving at 110 miles/hr and for 12 hrs at a stretch in US where we had to drive on the left for the first time in my life.
Experiencing the uncertainty that life offers after you leave university.
Developed some new strong friendships – Archana, JD, Flora, Julie and strengthened the already existing ones.

The year had a lot of firsts for me and I enjoyed being 21. I hope that the coming year also brings with it millions of new opportunities and many more firsts. I hope I get to travel, learn, love and laugh in the coming year.

The most memorable day of my stay in Kenya!!

2010-06-06T19:56:00.009+08:00

I can with full confidence call yesterday as the most memorable day of my stay here. It was a Parents’ Visiting/Prize giving day in Jane’s school and I decided to go. This time Julie (one of the interns at Living Positive and a very close friend of mine) also decided to come along. I was happy to see that Jane recognized me even after I had opened my braids and this time I could feel her exercising her authority over me, a pleasant change from the last time when I was finding it hard to explain to her that I am hers.. She was trying to talk to me with whatever limited English she knew showing me around, telling me how a snake entered their dorm and telling me that she has lost her plate already.

Apart from the normal Mom-Daughter bonding, there were some other aspects which made the day memorable for me:

Giving the awards

The Ceremony: African schools have a pretty fun way of singing hymns.. They all dance and they use a broken water barrel as drums and everybody sings.. Julie and I also joined and danced with the kids and the teachers. There were some plays in Swahili and poems and traditional dances. It was a good peek at the standard of the school, and the general running of the schools.

Helen, Jane and me

Prize Giving: Most of the awards were given by teachers and the manager but there were a couple of categories which were to be given by parents to appreciate their support and effort towards their child and to the school. And the Emcee called for “Shubhu” to give the awards for Best Teacher in each class. After 10 seconds, Julie and Lucy started tapping me to go. It was then that I realized that they had called me forward. Julie and I burst out laughing at “Shubhu” with every eye in the hall at us. I found it amazingly difficult to stop the fit of laughter which I was getting. And we pretty much laughed the whole day at the name..

Motorbike ride: Jane didn’t have a lot of daily use stuff so Julie, she and I went to the market to buy her stuff. Our mode of transport was a motor bike and this was the first time I quadrupled ever in my life. I was the last one on the bike and was sitting on the steel handle at the end of the bike. Every bump on the road was accompanied by a distinct squeal from me. And the entire village was running after us or making noises or jeering at the two Msungus. But all in all, it was the most memorable journey..

Goodbye: I had to tell Jane that I won’t be visiting her for a long long time now but I will call her and write to her regularly. The last image I have of her is wiping tears by the sleeves of her sweater, trying to wave bye to me and being held by her matron so that she doesn’t run after my vehicle. It took all my will-power to not go back to her – that would have made it even more difficult for her and me.

I probably didn’t do much justice to this post. Some things can just never be explained in words.

New Beginning!!

2010-05-31T15:10:00.002+08:00

And today, I have graduated with an Honours degree :)
That marks the end of being a student, for some time now!! Lets see what I will make of the new stage of life..

My journey to Jane!!

2010-05-28T19:42:00.003+08:00

The decision: A week into the internship I had decided that I was going to sponsor a child. I asked for profiles of kids with only one condition – should be a girl in primary school. A girl because they are more vulnerable and primary school because younger kids have an ability to overcome trauma of the past more effectively than the older ones when they are given better conditions. The original decision was to co-sponsor the child with a friend. I was presented with 5 names and somehow, Jane clicked with me at once. I asked some basic questions about her and the decision to be her co-sponsor was made. Then on Tuesday, I went to visit her house in the slum. The condition was miserable and I said to myself, “Never again is my child coming here, not even for vacations”.

Unfortunately, the same day I was left with the choice to either sponsor the child on my own or find another co-sponsor. The latter would delay the process and I didn’t want that. Finally, I decided to sponsor the child on my own. Being jobless at the moment, I cancelled all my travelling, rugby and shopping plans in Kenya which left me with money just enough to sponsor her if I spend with a tight hand. I would have enjoyed the travelling for 2-3 days but the money can now be put into better use to sponsor a child’s education and annual expenses – my child’s education. That very same day, I met the AIESECers organizing the travel and rugby event to cancel them. Somehow, cancelling these plans seemed so right. I could wait to send the money when I am in Singapore, but I am human enough to get worried about not having a source of income and might just back out.

Jane: Jane is 8 years old and one of 4 siblings. Her older brother Kennedy is in secondary school and stays at the slums with his grandmother and a lot of other children in a cloth house of 1 room. She has younger twin sisters. Their mother abandoned them when she discovered that she is HIV positive. Fortunately, Jane is negative (and it wouldn’t have mattered to me even if she was). Jane was molested by one of the guys staying in their house and had started sleeping in the garbage dump so that she is safe. It was urgent to send her to a primary boarding school which was far from her slums and that was done the day I showed interest in sponsoring her.

The journey: I decided to take a look at the school and meet her once before I sponsor her. So, I started my journey 6 am yesterday with Lucy Mwihaki (One of the women working at Living Positive whose 2 daughters study in the same school). After 5 hours of bus, matatu and motor bike travel, I finally reached the Maragua Summit School. Maragua is a small village and it was a big pain to be there being a Msungu. None of my vehicles were allowed to move for a long time because people were trying to touch or talk to me or just stare at me (Something which I can imagine happening to foreigners in a village in India). But I liked the location of the school – in the country side and one can see Mt. Kenya from the place. It was beautiful beyond words

The meet-up: I met the Principal to tell her that I will be sponsoring Jane’s education. Jane was called along with other children from the slums in Ngong. The moment the Principal told Jane that I am her mummy (to make her understand that I will be her guardian), Jane went crazy. She wouldn’t leave my leg, or let go of my hand or get off my lap. She took me to her class, introduced me to her friends and posed with me in millions of pictures. As the exams were going on, I was allowed to be with her for only 10-15 mins. But those were some of the most precious minutes of my life. I left the school with a happiness which knew no bound and (I will be a bit vain) I was proud of myself. I have found a beautiful connection to this country – It is the country of my daughter.

See you soon!!

2010-05-25T14:29:00.003+08:00

Today Flora is leaving for Sweden.. She had been a friend, a confidante, a partner-in-crime and an excellent care-taker.. The times when I had felt home-sick, she had been there for me to just sit and talk and laugh and take out all the frustration.. She made my stay here bearable for the first few days and fun for the rest.. All the times we had sneaked from work to go to Karen town on lame excuses and enjoying ourselves in a slightly developed society made me look forward to work everyday..

Somehow, the friendships which I have formed at the times of need have been the strongest.. May be because they have already passed the test of the age-old saying "A friend in need is a friend indeed".. And the other group of close friends I have are the ones with whom I have traveled around.. Flora is a combination of both and therefore, even more special..

We already have made plans of coming back to East Africa on a vacation and traveling around in Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda.. Thats why when she was leaving, I didn't say Good Bye.. I said, "See you soon"

Acceptance!!

2010-05-21T19:01:00.004+08:00

"mostly I wish you to learn the lesson of Acceptance.. as only through Acceptance you will find the secret of existence and you will be happy in a crowd or sitting alone, and you will use all that happens in your life, your joys and your sorrows, to become a better person, so that even death at the end will be good, because it is part of the game"

- Kuki Gallmann

It is funny that the day I accepted the solitude in which I had found refuge and serenity turned out to be the turning point of my stay in Kenya. May be that is how our mind works - the moment we accept what life throws at us, we gain the power of choosing our attitude towards it. When there was nothing much to do in my world, becoming a part of the world of the people here was the most logical solution, something which I should have done from the very first day in Kenya.. But it is never too late.

I was told by most foreigners here that one week is what it takes to like the country and it took me 1 week to fall in love with Kenya. I am sure to return here sometime with friends and family for a vacation.. And to meet all the people who have now become a part of my world and who have so graciously accepted me into theirs.

The serenity of solitude!!

2010-05-19T17:08:00.003+08:00

It is inevitable that you will find yourself alone at some point in life. It is therefore, very important to love to be in your own company because once you learn to do that, you might be alone but you will never be lonely - a thought which crossed my mind while reading yesterday.

It is very rarely that life is kind (read as cruel) enough to give you the space, time and loneliness needed to understand what you want from it, to get things into perspective, to be able to step back from the speed and intensity in which you had indulged yourself and to get to know yourself better. Enjoy the serenity which this experience brings - you might never get this opportunity for a very long time (this is first time that you have got it)

I have started enjoying my own company finally, something which used to make me very uncomfortable before. Solitude is known to be the most effective way to let someone lose his/her mind but if one can enjoy the quiet company of one's own self, is one really lonely? I am slowly mastering the art of going for days without having a conversation which lasts for more than the use of minimal words.

Known as the "Quiet Wasungu" here, I enjoy listening to other people without speaking a word - a part of me which I had not discovered before - A part which is only for Africa and I think which I will happily leave behind in Africa. Till then, for a month of serenity - Cheers!

Life's Lessons from Kenya!!

2010-05-16T17:48:00.000+08:00

#1. Small things often make big things bearable.
Whether it is the stupid rooster with no sense of timing who starts waking you up at 2 am, the warm greetings from the Aunty at the Cyber cafe, the fire lit every evening or the pregnant cat who takes refuge at the house - small things can give you pleasure in an inexplicable way.

#2. There is nothing you cannot do.
Till last week I thought that I was incapable of sitting quietly. I needed to talk and talk and talk. In the past week, I have hardly spoken - just speaking the minimal required words to survive and I am managing quite well :) And for those who thought I can never sit calm and quiet - come and see me here.

#3. It is more important to be friends with the house keepers than the house owner for a comfortable stay.
Because they stay in the house all the time and know everything you need to know. Specially after the Canadians left today, I discovered that I am surviving well because I made friends with Grace and Elizabeth.

#4. Doing nothing is more painful than working from dawn to midnight.
One week of a laid back life and I am finding it almost impossible to contain my energy. The workaholic that I am known to be is dying to find some work. The fact that we have to be inside by 5 pm as it is dangerous after that and there is no internet at home is making it difficult to be productive.

#5. Books are true friends in a strange land.
After suffering a bit through #4, I have taken up on reading African Literature. Currently reading I dreamed of Africa y Kuki Gallmann gifted to me by Siddharth Bhaiya, I welcome all suggestions for rich African Literature.

#6. Home Sickness is a great way for self discovery.
Something which Wan Xin said to me really touched me and I found it so true - "Be in deep experience with your homesickness Shub. It itself is a wonderful self-discovery. =) And Shub, you are strong enough to take this experience, and at times you feel you don't, let yourself break. We are here to catch you! Love, Wan Xin "
But remember that #5 doesn't help in home sickness. You might end up reading the same line for over 5 hrs and still not understand it. Then resort to #7.

#7. Find a child to laugh with.
Whether it is a 2 months old or someone who has just entered his/her teen, children have a beautiful gift of taking you into their world, totally immerse you in their life till you forget about your own. Make stupid faces with a baby, talk about issues with a 10 year old or watch a dumb teenage movie with them, you will soon find a sense of happiness which adults unfortunately can't give.

#8. Be open to break your own rules.
Do you remember me saying that I don't even drink tea, coffee and soft drinks.,I am a healthy girl and drink Milk and juices only? Well, I stayed stubborn on that for 2 days till the damp and cold weather slapped me hard. Now I drink hot tea (called Chai here) atleast 2 times a day. I still don't enjoy it and will go back to my old self when I leave Kenya.

#9. No matter how hard you try, you will always be different from them - Just accept it.
I am known as the "Wasungu" here - "the different one usually used to refer a white person". When I walk on the streets, children point at me and shout Wasungu. Everybody shouts "How are you" at me without even understanding its meaning. Weeping children stop crying if I smile at them. Matatu drivers want me in their Matatus so that they can attract more passengers. At first I used to find it very annoying but now I have realized that it is better to accept it. After all, being the different one does give a power of its own.

#10. Be in touch with your Mum.
Mothers have a gift to making you feel comfortable with all the discomforts even when she is miles away. I look forward to her next call as soon as she hangs up. Her voice is a constant source of strength in everything I am undertaking.

Of Shock, Despair and Satisfaction!!

2010-05-13T17:47:00.003+08:00

“I learned what every dreaming child needs to know – that no horizon is so far you cannot get above it or beyong it”- Beryl Markham

After I updated the blog last time, I went to AIESEC Kenya Office where I was told that they are still not sure about my transport to Ngong – the village where I am supposed to be working. Finally, we took a cab and left for the place. The place is located at the Ngong foothills in a very remote village. I was happy to see some students from Canada at the guest house who had also volunteered themselves. Since, they were a group of 9 friends they usually keep to themselves only.

Food – Food here is pretty bland and my diet consists of boiled vegetables with some rice or a local vegetable dish called Ugali. It took me some meals and starvation to start eating proper meals. But with the kind of labour we do throughout the day, I tend to relish anything and everything served to me.

Transport to the office – The office is about 2.5 km away and we have to walk to the place. Also, for lunch we come back to the house which means that I walk at least 10 km every day. The path is full of mud and dirt and is very very slippery though I am getting a hang of the walk. The first day was hilarious when I was finding it almost impossible to walk and was a good entertainment to the locals who were jeering and cheering at me. But with time and sacrifice of one pair of running shoes, I am now able to walk tall almost like a pro.

People – The Living Positive Program (LPP) is run by Mary and Mary, the older one being referred to as Mum by everyone. At present, we are working at the Masaai slums. I met some very enterprising and intelligent students from the slum who have been sponsored by LPP. All the women and some of the children under the program are HIV positive.

Apart from the Canadians, there is one more volunteer – Flora. She takes very good care of me and it is probably because of her that I am able to sustain the home sickness which strikes me every now and then.

My work – Although I am mainly responsible for fundraising for the organization, I have been involved in digging a trench and repairing the swings at the day care along with the Canadians and Flora. I had never imagined in my whole life that I will be working in a slum in a small village in Africa. But I know for sure that I am able to do this, I can handle almost anything in life.

City Hopper Adventure – On Tuesday, I decided to go to Nairobi city with Flora to meet up with some AIESECers. We went to the city on Matatu but on the way back took a city hopper – a mini bus kind of vehicle – because it has more passengers. The city hopper hopped so high once that I hit the corner iron rest at the ceiling. After getting over the shock of what had happened and realizing it to be a very common experience in city hopper, I burst into a fit of laughter. That is Africa for you – it makes you laugh on the tragedies of life. If you don’t, life can become a big burden.

Day to Day Struggles - From taking shower with cold water (it is winter in Kenya) to washing clothes by hand, everything is a struggle. I have been told by Flora a lot of times that it is only the first week which is difficult, after that I will fall in love with the country. Though I must say, that I like the laid back evenings where I sit by the fireplace and just read. It is not the fast, intense and efficient lifestyle which I am used to, but is a unique experience.

Encouragement – Every now and then, I engage into a conversation with myself as to why I am doing this. I could have pampered myself with a nice European holiday or just gone home and rested. But then I see Mary and Mum Mary working so hard at that age to make lives of people around them better. Sometimes it also helps to think that this experience was my choice – the circumstances don’t change but thinking like this makes everything a lot more bearable.

This is an opportunity for me to put into practice all the things I have learnt about life – ‘Happiness is a state of mind’, ‘Anything that doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’, challenge yourself cobstantly because only then can one grow as a person.

And lastly, I am reading a book called I dreamed of Africa by Kuki Galmann – a gift from Siddharth Bhaiya. Apart from being an interesting read, it is also inspiring and very encouraging. Whatever I am going through is only for 7 weeks but if I can make a difference to even 1 life, I will be changing a lifetime for that person and his/her family.

My first impressions of Kenya!!

2010-05-10T17:32:00.005+08:00

So, I am sitting in a cyber cafe near University of Nairobi.. The university is quite good and the AIESEC offices are in the Mahatma Gandhi Wing.

The experiences so far have been quite unique. And the uniqueness started from the flight itself. I boarded Kenyan airways from Bangkok. The lady(from Zambia) sitting next to me was the fattest person I have seen so far.. For the first time I witnessed someone asking for additional belt in the airplane. The result being - She took her seat and more than half of mine :P The hand rest won't come down and the flight was jam packed. I could not sleep at all.

Jomo Kenyatta International Airport is more like an international airport in a small city in India. Eric Kariuki came to pick me up. The mode of transport here is 'Matuta' - a very run down van in which I experienced the bumpiest ride ever. Surprisingly, I loved every bit of it.. My very very first impression was Kenya was that it is very much like the rural India. Living here would be like living there, not just visiting that part.

I went to Eric's place to freshen up and experienced the Indian side again - carried (yes, carried not dragged) my luggage from where the Matuta dropped us to his place. This was the longest and most tiring 30 minutes of walk. Water for shower was boiled on stove and there was water stored in a big tumbler. They use the bucket and mug system like in India coz usually the taps have no water.

I loved all my interactions with Eric - AIESEC, politics, Kenya, India, economy, languages and religions. One thing which really touched me about the people here is their warmth. From the very first time I met them, they made me feel very comfortable. When I was at Eric's place, he served me with all the bread slices he had, saving nothing for himself - something I got to read only the folk tales of India but never experience in life. Kenya in a lot of ways gives me the image of how India would have been in the 'Golden Era' - not very advanced, but with a lot of love, trust and hospitality.

The Central Business District is more like a market in a city like Agra. But the weather here is amazing. I have to wear jacket even in the afternoon. Now I am just waiting to go to my place of work which is in Ngong district - about 30 kms North of Nairobi. Its been just about 6 hours since I have landed and I have started feeling at 'home'.

This time for Africa!!

2010-05-07T21:44:00.004+08:00

I am totally in love with the official song for World Cup 2010. I think it applies to Africa and life in general.. It is also going to be my theme song for my stay in Kenya ;)

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
This time for Africa

Enjoy!

End of the Beginning!!

2010-05-03T16:42:00.002+08:00

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

-Winston Churchill

Finally, this is the last week of my university life (hopefully) and a life of a student in general.. The secure and most care-free time of life is about to end.. Now, I will have to face the world and worry about small little things.. Parents won't be an ATM anymore - if I get a job soon.. But it is exciting..

May be how Monica puts it in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. "Welcome to the real world. It sucks!! You will love it"

Stranger Friend!!

2010-04-29T21:08:00.004+08:00

Have you ever had a 'stranger friend'? May be someone who travels in the same bus with you or eats at the same place as you do.. Someone who you have never talked to, don't even know name, might have smiled once in a while? Its strange how such a 'stranger friend' gives a sense of assurance to our minds..

Recently, while studying for my exams in the library for the past 2-3 days, I have made such a 'stranger friend' too.. She sits next to me everyday - we both sit at the the exact same place each day, smiles at me every morning at 9 am when I reach the library, and smiles again when I leave the library around 8:30 pm.. Thats all the regular interaction we have had, aside from the occasional whining about the noisy Exchange Students.. We also have some unspoken agreements - we look over each other's laptops and other belongings when one has to leave the room; if one of ours place has been taken by someone else we make room for the other one and general respect for each other..

Actually, I didn't realize her importance until she left the room this afternoon taking away all her belongings.. This was the first time she did that!! It was a moment of inexplicable relief when she came back.. And I did something which I had never done before - I talked to her, asked her how her exam was, which faculty, which department.. Its kind of interesting that sometimes we get so engrossed in our own worries, work and "issues" that we make them bigger than the people around us.. I usually avoid doing that with people I know, but today I pushed the limit to people I don't know as well.. In the world where virtual communication is taking over face-to-face communication so fast, smiles are just not good enough.. We need to create more "Human Moments" for keeping the sanity of our kinds intact..

Disco disco, Party party!!

2010-04-22T20:32:00.004+08:00

Being an ardent fan of disco dancer, I have found my video of the year.. One of the most hilarious songs I have ever seen.. Read the subtitles to enjoy it! Everything is just so random! If I ever make a music video, it will be along these lines..

For the people preparing for exams, it is a good stress buster! Just dance like those guys and tensions will run out of the window..

Some Lasts!!

2010-04-15T19:45:00.003+08:00

Oh, the feeling when you are walking out after giving the Final Year Project (FYP) presentation! If for nothing else, all the year-long stress for FYP is totally worth when you have that feeling.. With that, the academic projects, presentations, reports, thesis also came to an end - atleast for next 3-4 years.. The projects had been a major part of the semester for all the students in NUS for the past 4 years.. While some were interesting, some were night-mares.. I did well in some, not so much in some and hardly bothered about some others.. Hopefully, this will also be an end to all the technical projects of my life.. Even in university, I enjoyed only the non-technical projects - the technical ones were usually a big pain and to be honest, I hardly learnt anything from most of them..

Another aspect of my university life came to end yesterday - Working in Development Office as a Student Ambassador for the Annual Giving Team. I have been a part of the AG team since December 2007. Wow, that has been really long. I did take a break every now and then but I used to go back.. I loved working there most of the times - opportunity to talk to alumni, building bonds with other students, supervisors. I was introduced to Mr. Harlan McMurray through the AG team only, and he has been a constant support in my university life.

I believe the feeling of this being the last time for a number of things has still not sunk in and I don't know if it ever will. There is also an excitement about what next, what does life hold for me, will I be able to live life like I have always dreamt or will I be under constant trial.. Still very unsure about the future but I guess I should stand by the belief - "If you get what you want, it is God's blessing! If you don't, then it is God's will and God's will is always better than our own want."

The Stranger who cares!!

2010-04-13T21:56:00.003+08:00

Each small act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of the good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it is passed, until simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away.

~ Unknown Author (Copied from Rachit's email sign off)

There are so many people who we don't know, have never met and may not even be aware of their existence who make a difference in our lives - sometimes big, sometimes small. One such person who every graduating student from Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE) Department would know of is Ms. Susan A. Silva - Undergraduate Final year and project matters responsible in the ECE department.

Susan has been taking care of our final year project (FYP) details, making sure that we all file for graduation, everyone is able to graduate and millions of other graduating matters. Even though that might be her job description, she has a special touch of care in all the matters. Where a lot of times we face bureaucracy issues, Susan makes sure that the final year students are free from handling all these issues. From sending emails to make sure that we go collect keys before our FYP presentation, that we submit the FYP thesis on time to making sure that we don't fail the degree requirements and fail to graduate, Susan handles it all.

I actually have to thank her personally. The online degree requirement check was showing some problems with my iLEAD modules, thus failing me to graduate on time and that too without the minor. However, with Susan's help that problem is now solved. Unlike most other people, Susan didn't ask me even once to come down to the office. Her email conversations were clear, facilitating easy communication because of which the problem was solved easily and in a very short time.

I would like to thank her on behalf of all graduating ECE students for taking so much pain for us and solving our matters and to let her know that her help is highly appreciated.

Increasing Excitement!!

2010-04-11T12:55:00.005+08:00

“I learned that the richness of life is found in adventure. . . . It develops self-reliance and independence. Life then teems with excitement. There is stagnation only in security.” - William Orville Douglas

Its exactly 4 weeks before I leave for Africa which means that I need to start taking my Malaria prevention pills from today! Wow!! Finally taking pills and all.. Thankfully, all the vaccination shots are done and I survived them :)

The excitement is on a constant increase nowadays. I have been introduced to some people in Kenya and I can already relate to what everybody has been telling me about the warmth of the people there. Anyone and everyone who has ever gone to Africa tells me that I am going to have an experience of a lifetime, something that I will cherish forever..

I particularly liked Jovin's response - "shub, here's why you should NOT go to africa!

- you will me mesmerized! you would not want to return to the lion city, after you'd have courted the real lions!
- you will see the soccer talents, take up women's soccer, and show them how you can juggle with many balls at once
- last but not the least, the wonderful people you'd meet would break your stereotypes on hospitality and love and seduction!

you want not be a victim of all this in your one and only youth, do you?"

Makes me want to leave right away.. Sharing a video which Muti (a Kenyan friend of mine) shared with me to introduce magical Kenya..

Finding your Passion!!

2010-04-09T10:11:00.005+08:00

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.

-T. Alan Armstrong

When I look around, I see so many people living life out of habit. They wake up every morning because thats what they have been doing, they go to work because they have to, they work and come back. What a waste of the human ability - doing something because you have to, because thats what most of the people do.

Being at the crossroads of my life when I am about to choose what I am supposed to do for a living, the most important thing which I am looking for is something which I love to do. I don't want to work just for money/status, these are for the world.. I want to work for job satisfaction, something which will be totally mine and no one can take it from me. Thankfully, I have the internship in Kenya to keep me going, to make me have something to really look forward to in my life.

Steve Jobs said, "I always ask myself the question - "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." Something which I think is very true.

I have always loved working for AIESEC and that always kept me going. I loved my iLEAD programme and it was one of the most amazing experiences I have had. And when I do something which I am not very passionate about, time becomes so slow.

Your passion does not need to be a long term passion like I want to change the world. It can be a simple short term passion like I want to spend some time with HIV positive people in Africa, and when you are living that passion, find something you are passionate about for the next step in your journey.

If you really really want to live life and not just survive, it is essential to find your passion. Ask yourself everyday, "What is it that I want to do?" If you get the same answer for a long time, you have found your passion.. So, lets promise ourselves today to live life, not just survive it!!

This time, last week!!

2010-04-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

We do not remember days; we remember moments. -Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand

Because there are some moments which never leave you, and these are the moments which make Life BEAUTIFUL!!

Phew!!

2010-04-05T19:19:00.003+08:00

Finally done with my Final Year Project (FYP) thesis and technical paper.. Still a long way to go (precisely 5 weeks) before I get done with university but a big stress is off my head.. A grilling experience it was in the past week - the whole FYP work.

5 weeks of Uni and 7 weeks of Kenya, I have no idea where life will take me after that.. I hate this period of uncertainty, though I know that a couple of months down the road, I will laugh at how foolish I was to be so stressed up.. Fortunately, I have the trip to Kenya to look forward to.

This whole experience of uncertainty has made me get to know myself slightly better. I hate uncertainties like most people but these uncertainties give me the push to think out of the box or out of place as I would like to call it. I am still very selective about the kind of job I want to start my career with and I am not sure when that will break - when I will join the crowd and accept high-paying jobs with minimal job satisfaction and no learning.

Two important things which I look for in a job are how much will I be allowed to contribute and what are the opportunities of interacting with people from all over the world. Will my opinion be considered or will I just be a highly paid clerk who is delegated work everyday? Will I get to make a difference to the company and to the world in general? Will I be proud to tell what I do in my job or just be satisfied that I am earning? Will I travel around meeting people or just face my computer every single day? Will I be working in an enjoyable and healthy work environment or just become numb to all emotions when it comes to work?

I don't know what life holds for me! I can just take action and wait..

Need Motivation!!

2010-03-29T12:13:00.003+08:00

"Sure I am that this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us."

-Winston Churchill

With a week left for the submission of FYP thesis and slow progress, I really need some strong motivation to do the task. I hope victory will not be denied us. Work work work!!

Woman!!

2010-03-28T16:31:00.002+08:00

- courtesy Nabeel

A Tribute!!

2010-03-24T23:52:00.007+08:00

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us, “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.

-Albert Einstein

If I can think of a group of people who have achieved this liberation, it will be the Annual Giving Campaign donors. Annual Giving Campaign is an annual appeal by NUS to its alumni to help support the students who are facing financial difficulties. The donors are the people who have made a contribution to the campaign and helped in providing education to the people who are deserving.

I had the privilege of meeting some of the donors today at the AG Donor appreciation tea and I think that words will not be able to do justice to the impact which they are creating in the society. It is not only about the direct monetary help which the students get, it is also about the spirit of giving which they instill in the youth through their example and about keeping our faith in the inherent goodness of human beings.

Though I wasn't able to meet all the donors, I say a BIG THANK YOU to all of them. I am about to graduate from the university soon, and their example makes me want to contribute to the cause as well. It is something which I will definitely do, in my own capacity and make sure that feeling of paying it forward which has been instilled in us, doesn't go off.

You can do it!!

2010-03-22T22:58:00.005+08:00

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They are not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

— Apple Computer Inc.

It is not always necessary that your ideas of creating a positive change will be understood or appreciated. The most important thing is not to let self-doubt kill you.. People usually laugh at big ideas - if you have seen them, be happy that you are courageous enough to see them. If you can implement them, a big kudos.. You might succeed or not, but at least you tried.

If you think that you need the whole world to support you, always remember this:

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

- Margaret Mead

Believe in yourself, stand up for your belief, and go change the world! You can do it!!

If you are ever in doubt, watch this video which very beautifully describes how 1 person or small group of people can bring about a revolution. (I always manage to get goosebumps while seeing this video)

Getting close to the dream!!

2010-03-21T23:56:00.006+08:00

The feeling of being very close to living your dream is great, and greater is the feeling of achievement when you have had to cross innumerable hurdles to live that dream. Those who know me, know what exactly I am talking about.

In August 2008, I decided that before I start working full time, I will go for a development traineeship to Africa.. There were numerous hurdles then, the biggest ones being - finances, getting the support of my family and keeping the motivation till I get to the end. I remember having zillions of conversations with my friends throughout this phase and now I am very close to achieving this dream.

I have got an internship in a small village located north of Nairobi, Kenya. It is called the Living Positive program. Will be in Kenya from 10th May to 28th June. Just good enough for me to be back in Singapore for my graduation ceremony!

The journey home is never too long!!

2009-11-26T21:50:00.004+08:00

With exactly a week till I get to enjoy the warmth of the chilly North India, I have never ever waited to be back home so badly.. Perhaps, the year just took too much of a toll on me.. All I think about now, is to get back home..

Career Path!!

2009-11-25T15:27:00.000+08:00

Being Fulfilled!!

2009-10-26T22:49:00.003+08:00

Why is it that somethings which we really want in life, we don't get them? But then, when was Life about getting what you want.. In true sense, Life is about getting what you want sometimes and not getting what you want most of the times. But what most of us do is to think that we will be happy when we get what we want, life will be good if we get what we want and keep on waiting for eternity to be happy, to be fulfilled.

Fulfillment is not about getting what we want, its about dealing with Life and whatever it throws in and creating happiness for us moment by moment. The critical question here is - How? How do we deal with whatever life throws in, with not getting what we want?

If you are someone like me who would not do anything until unless you choose to do it, then choose what life throws in powerfully. Accept it as your own. Making the choice of accepting a particular fact of life gives us the immense satisfaction of being in control of our life. After having chosen the fact, create for yourself the outcome of the issue you are dealing with. How do YOU want things to shape up? And just commit yourself whole-heartedly.

I think a lot of us are successful in reaching this stage. But what most of us miss out is to enroll other people involved in the issue in what your commitment is. We, Humans, cannot live as an island. We are a constant function of the people around us. And when the issue involves other people, it is very important to enroll them in our commitment and then getting their support in taking action according to the commitment. And take responsibility for the consequence of each action we take because actions always produce consequences.

This is a path I use for being fulfilled in the face of issues and problems in life.

Degree in Awesomeness!!

2009-07-09T17:01:00.002+08:00

I think we all can get a PhD in awesomeness ;)

Something called 'AIESEC'

2009-05-01T22:40:00.003+08:00

Disclaimer: This post is more like a post from me to me.. You might not enjoy it.. So I am not responsible for how you feel after reading it.. Also, if you have decided to read it further, @ is the short form of AIESEC..

It was August 2006 when I joined @ as an organization which had transformed Vijit as a person.. But soon enough I realized that it is not just an organization to me.. @ is friendship.. @ is family.. @ is work.. @ is passion.. @ is everything I have done in the past 3 years.. I am a full timer @er and a part time student..

December last year after NLDS (National Leadership Development Seminar) I burnt out.. I decided that was enough for me.. That was all I had to do with @.. And I went home, rather I ran home.. For the first time, I ran away from something.. Somewhere since then, I had the urge of joining back but I was caught up with internship, other iLEAD requirements, 2 taxing modules and friends going through some tough times..

Even though I was not active in @, @ was very much active in me.. Everyone in my office knows about @.. @ usually gets the credit if I do something well, or when I can work for hrs at stretch without complaining.. But with every mention, there was a strong sense of guilt.. Last year a lot of shit happened and I cleared up the mess.. Shit happened coz of loads of external factors, but it really hurt me when people who didn't have the courage to clear the mess, blamed me just cause I had the courage of going to clear it up.. Having successfully organized 2 big conference in an interval of 3 months with a mountain of shit had burnt me down.. I decided I need a break..

Finally I decided that today I will go to it.. Vijit always tells me that @ is just a miniaturization of world.. There are good things and there are bad things.. What you do in @ pretty much reflects what you do in life and defines who you are as a person.. I didn't want to be a quitter in real life or in @.. So, I finally decided that I am going back..

Some events happened this week which led to the final decision.. I went to Joanne to collect my Visa letter for the US and she asked me about my internship experience.. I shared with her all the amazing things I am learning, the great people I am meeting.. And she asked me questions like: don't you get burnt out with school and internship? don't you feel left out with the employees? you deal with people all around the world, don't feel awkward? My answer was.. No, I have done all this in @.. and I told her about my experience in @ for more than an hr..

Co-incidentally I met my 0708 @ team that very day.. I realized what I was doing to myself.. These are friendships I have formed because of @.. I thought of Sharon, Dei, Diana, Shin and all the amazing people I have met in @.. People from Afghanistan, Cote De 'Voire, Guatemala, Czech Republic, Iran.. People from 110 countries in the world.. I thought of all the big corporate guys who know me because of @..

I thought of all the all-nighters I have hit doing @ work, staying over in the @ office, eating time-outs for breakfast, lunch, dinner while preparing for NLDS.. I thought of all the emails I have got from members all over the world thanking me for changing their lives forever, for inspiring them.. If you have ever been thanked for changing someone's life for the better, you would exactly know what I mean..

I thought of all the things I have achieved in life.. Getting famous in NUS is a big thing.. I am famous as AIESEC girl.. I thought of my trips to Hyderabad, Penang, Turkey, Brazil for AIESEC conferences.. The craziness in the conferences where we would never be tired of dancing, partying, attending sessions and most importantly planning and strategizing for the coming term..

I thought of how I got the inspiration of going to Africa through @.. I know I am surrounded by the people who not only want to do something for the world but are doing it at an age where people are engaged in indulgence.. When people are wondering about AIDS, these people go down to Africa to educate people about AIDS and work with people who have AIDS.. They go to India and fight for child rights.. When the world is complaining about the recession, they come up with Finance projects to help the world..

I thought of all the crazy things I have done in @, the trainee receptions, the airport pick ups, the long trainings and even longer meetings.. @ is very much responsible for lots of things which make me.. I can't leave it.. I have to give my 100% to it.. and I am back with renewed energy..

While I was going to the office, I was nervous.. I was meeting my team after a long time.. Didn't know how they will take everything.. But they were all so eager to help me get back.. And I remembered what Houston Spencer (Alcatel Lucent) told us.. One thing which is common in all @ers is that they are very supportive in bringing the best in others, their sole purpose is to help people meet their best side.. It is a rare thing and if you can maintain it, the world will be lot better.. I saw that happening today.. Thank you guys..

Random thoughts!!

2009-04-30T18:00:00.004+08:00

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be..

Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything — they are just able to make the best of everything they have.

The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,
a driver called Almighty God,
you will make it to a place called Success.

Formality is when you need to do something, and not when you want to do it.

Disco Dancer!!

2009-04-09T11:39:00.003+08:00

As some of you may know, I am sick.. And for someone always full of energy, being sick is a curse :P So i thought, I'll see other people's energy and enjoy..

The first person who came to my mind is 'Mithun'.. I am not at all embarrassed to say that I like Mithun.. I usually see his videos on Youtube when I lack energy.. Videos from Disco Dancer of course (I don't know any other movie he is part of) The Bengali dude is the Original Disco Dancer of Bollywood.. He is also what I call the 'Pelvic Thrust King'.. Abhishek Bacchan did a good job in Dus Bahane song but could not reach the original Mithun Pelvic :P I used to try doing the step in my room when I was young... and I just tried doing it.. But oh well :(

You have to see the 'King' to believe me..

The song which made it to the top

This one can still be heard in some Baaraats.. Hehe
(I like the M.I.A remix of this one too... Got her a lot of fame)

Saathiya tune kya kiya!!

2009-03-26T23:07:00.003+08:00

One of my favourite love songs...

Saathiya tune kya kiya� beliya ye tune kya kiya?
Maine kiya tera intezar, itna karo na muje pyar

Saathiya tune kya kaha� beliya ye tune kya kaha�..
Yoon na kabhi karna intezar, maine kiya hai tumse pyar..

Itni mohabbat seh na sakunga..
Sach mano zinda reh na sakunga..
Tujhko sambhaloo, ye mera zimma
Main hoon to kya gum jane tamanna�
Ab jeena marna mera, janam tere haath hai..
Maine kaha na sanam, ab tu mere saath hai..

To phir sambhaal..le main chala ..
Jana kaha ..aa dil mein aa..

Saathiya tune kya kiya� Beliya ye tune kya kiya?

Dil ke chaman ka hasna to dekho..
Jaagi nazar ka sapna to dekho..
Aise hue hum ek jaan ek dil, tu hai ke main hoon
Kehna hai mushkil..
Jhonka basanti hai tu.. tan hai gulabi mera..
Do rang milne ke baad hote nahi hain judaa..

To phir sambhal..dil yeh chala ..
Jana kaha ..aa dil mein aa

Saathiya tune kya kaha� beliya ye tune kya kaha�..
Yoon na kabhi karna intezar, maine kiya hai tumse pyar..

Strength of Character!!

2009-03-23T19:10:00.004+08:00

A lot of people believe that strength of character means to avoid being in situations where you might fall weak or give in to a temptation. Personally, I don't believe in it. The strength of character is not to lock yourself in a room where there are no temptations and project that you are a strong person. Being strong means to stand in between all the temptations and then say 'NO' to them, then stick to what you really believe in.

Here, I am not talking about doing the right thing or the wrong one. I do not believe in right or wrong. There is no absolute right or wrong. These are very subjective terms based on people's perceptions and often used to justify their actions. People just do what they believe in and label that as the right action.

I heard/read somewhere that "Strength of character is doing the right thing when no one is watching over". I will like to change it a bit. For me, "Strength of character is doing what you believe in, when no one is watching. It is also doing what you believe in, when the whole world thinks that you should do otherwise" And that is the difficult part specially when your loved ones are against your belief.

This strength is not something you are born with, it is what you develop over time. Thats why it becomes even more important to be out in these temptations, to be a part of the realities of life rather than being a silent spectator from a distance. Our conscience is the source of this strength. It stops us from giving into temptations, and each time we give into the temptation, the volume of the conscience goes down until the time when it becomes mute. And that is when we don't care what we do, we don't remember what we believe in. We get haunted by our own thoughts, actions, words..

I know that this strength may cost a lot of things a lot of times, sometimes everything you have but it is worth it.. Coz then you are not haunted by yourself. You can look in the mirror and smile and have the most peaceful sleep in the world.

In Love with 'Macha'!!

2009-03-10T10:32:00.003+08:00

Well.. If you have met me in the past 3-4 days then you will know what I am referring to.. 'Macha', 'Da', 'Chumma' have been added to my vocabulary and have been placed in a special function which is run every time I communicate.. Now its not that I had never heard these words, but one of my colleagues does complete justice to these words when he uses them and since then I have started liking them.. Specially Macha.. I think it is a very very cute word :P

Now I think that its such a cute word that I should not waste it on everyone, specially the people who get irritated when I use it.. So I have finally shortlisted 3 machas :)

Preeti Macha: Apart from the fact that she has to be a part of everything I do, I think the way I use Macha for her is different from how I use it with everyone else.. I don't remember now whether I caught the habit of Macha by her over-using it or was it the other way round, but now we both use it a lot.. Our SMSes are Awesome Macha, tell me when you are back da.. Macha, I am hungry.. and even one of our emails was titled Macha!!!! So, my top Macha is Preeti :)
Shankar Macha: Well, being a South Indian himself, Shankar understands the importance of the word.. And also, I like the way he laughs when we use Macha coz a lot of times we use it in a wrong way or are over-using it..
Bharat Macha: I think Macha suits him more than his name (The name is very good but he is such a Macha :) ).. And I just realized that I have never called him Bharat, I have been calling him Macha only..

But being a Google Era girl, I googled Macha, which gave me weird results. Then I googled, Macha South India and my favourite favourite Urban Dictionary enlightened me..
Here are some of the meanings:

Literally is term for brother-in-law (wife's brother). Used more commonly as an addressal to friends - So its more like Saala in North India.. I don't like using Abusive words for addressing friends so I will neglect my knowledge of this meaning. Just like how I call Ker Ying a Chikopeck coz both Ker Ying and the word Chikopeck are cute.. Although Chikopeck means a lecher and he is always conscious of where I use that word :P
Slang for a friend, basically means cousin
A term of endearment used by homosexual and bisexual males hailing from South India - hahahhahahahahhahhahha.. Is this the reason why some people get irritated when I call them Macha?

I don't think I care much about the meaning of the word.. For me its a word I use with people I think deserve the word.. So if I have called you 'Macha', its just coz I think you deserve that..

Work VS Study!!!

2009-03-04T21:49:00.003+08:00

I completed 2 months of my internship today! :D And man, I have survived those 2 months fairly alright.. But I really miss University.. So, I just thought I should write how work sucks compared to studying and vice Versa:

Studying is better :

You get to wake up at whatever time you want to.
You can have cheap lunches at places you want to.
You can slack unless a deadline is approaching or have a mid term soon
You get to have a recess week 6 weeks into the sem and then long 3 months break 13 weeks into the sem.
No matter you are interning, you still have 2 heavy modules to handle. And if you are an iLEADer, you have a whole lot of other work.
You get to be close to your friends.
You are in the safe uni environment.
You are never free :P
You can still be actively involved in AIESEC
You can attend your brother's wedding :(

Work is better:

You get to practically see all that you have been learning.
You start hanging out with mature people and learn a lot from them.
You gym everyday of the week :)
You can spend a lot without caring much :P
You can watch all movies you want.
You don't feel guilty when lazing on weekends
If you are working in my company, you have hell lot of fun with all the learning and get to work with some of the most amazing people.
If you are part of iLEAD, you are excited about the Silicon Valley Business trip and the extended trip which your batch is planning.
You become more calm and mature.
You realize that being a student and studying is so much more fun and can't wait to be a nerd next sem onwards ;)

Just Like That!!

2009-02-19T21:58:00.002+08:00

1) Were you named after anyone?
Nope.. My name has a very beautiful meaning though..

2) When was the last time you cried?
While sleeping 2 days back.. I don't cry much when awake, so sometimes cry while sleeping

3) Do you like your handwriting?
Depends on whether I write to make it look good or just scribble..

4) What is your favourite lunch meat?
I am vegetarian

5) Do you have kids?
Nope. But I plan to adopt a girl child for sure.. I guess I will have kids too, if I marry that is..

6) If you were another person, would you like to be friends with you?
For sure ;)

7) Do you use sarcasm?
Depending on the situation and the person.. Sometimes I can crack sarcastic jokes..

8) Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes..

9) Would you bungee jump?
Definitely..

10) What is your favourite cereal?
Kellogg's plain cornflakes with hot bournvita milk

11) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Yes and then re-tie them when putting at its place..

12) What is your favourite ice–cream?
I am a big ice-cream fan... Like all.. Though nothing beats Madhu's lemon bar (Madhu is a local brand of Agra and lemon bar is the cheapest ice cream available... those watery ones)

13) What is the first thing you notice about people?
Their smile

14) Red or pink?
Red!

15) What is the least favourite thing about yourself?
Being involved in way too many things at a time... But I still find it hard to say 'No'..

16) Who do you miss the most?
Mom

17) Do you want everyone to complete this list?
Yes, if they have the stamina.

18) What colour of trousers and shoes are your wearing?
I am wearing black shorts and am bare-foot :P Sorry.. In my room..

19) What are you listening to right now?
Love Mera Hit Hit (Remix) - Billu Barber

20) If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Green

21) Favourite smells
Some perfumes, lavender, smell of the mud when it rains,

22) The last person you talked to on the phone?
My mom. Talked to her for a long time

23) Do you like the person who sent you this?
Yes, she is very sweet

24) Favourite sports to watch?
Cricket for sure

25) Hair colour?
Black

26) Eye colour?
Black

27) Do you wear contacts?
No.. I prefer spects..

28) Favourite food?
Food cooked by mom.. I actually like a lot of dishes and cuisines..

29) Scary or happy endings?
Happy... I like happiness around me and want everyone to be happy..

30) Last movie you watched?
Valkyrie.. Good movie..

31) What colour of shirt are you wearing?
Grey..

32) Summer or winter?
Winter.. I love the clothes, the fog, the warmth people start generating to keep themselves warm and reptiles hibernate..

33) Favourite dessert?
Gulab Jamun (hot)

34) What books are you reading?
Shantaram

35) What is on your mousepad?
NUS logos.

36) What did you watch last night?
Nothing..

37) Rolling Stones? Beatles?
Beatles.

38) Where is the furthest you have been from home?
Brazil.. Amazing place, wild people and I love it!

39) Do you have a special talent?
I can dance continuously for hours..

40) Where were you born?
Malhotra Hospital, M. G. Road, Agra :)

With Hope and Happiness!!!

2009-01-18T22:28:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year to all!

Beginning with the family back in India, 2009 looks full of hope and happiness to me (atleast the past 18 days have been) as I have the following things to look forward to:

I'll be turning 21 this year. I am really looking forward to being an adult. I love my past, I am excited about the future but most importantly I am enjoying my present
Tupin is back. My group is complete and my friends are happy. We have awesome time together.
My Partner is also back.. Yay!! :D
For a major part of the year, I'll be working in a company I just love working for. The past couple of weeks have been awesome and I am really looking forward for more..
I am going to US and most probably for a Euro trip. If the Euro Trip doesn't work out, I will definitely spend some time in Paris or Amsterdam.
I am lessening my AIESEC commitments. So, I will enjoy my University Life for a change.

There are a couple of other travel plans too (Yes, I am inflicted by the travel bug).. But they are not confirmed or high on my priority list! I really hope that this year is full of the kind of happiness it presents at this moment..

Back Home!!

2008-12-18T13:26:00.001+08:00

After a grilling semester throughout which I had the feeling that I might just not be able to survive, I am happy to be back home!

I am experiencing winters in India after 3 long years. Winters has always been my favourite season - a major reason being that lizards hibernate during this season. I love the dresses and the food and definitely the fog, sleeping in quilts, and I have numerous reasons.

So for next 15 days, I am just chilling - in literal sense too :P

Breathing NLDS!!

2008-12-03T21:31:00.001+08:00

Disclaimer: This post was written in my half an hour break at the office

So, I have just disappeared from blog, facebook, phone calls, parties or random chilling after the exams.. The reason being - National Leadership Development Seminar for AIESEC Singapore. I am almost breathing NLDS!! Thats the amount of work being done.

No matter how much stress it can sometimes give me, I know that I love AIESEC too much! I can't imagine my life without AIESEC being an integral part of it! It is one of the major factors in shaping me as the person I am today, given me some of the most cherishable moments, taken me around the world and given me some lifelong friends.

So if you are not able to find me in NUS or are wondering where I have disappeared, I am spending my entire day in the office and with some of the team members.. And its just so rejuvenating :D

New face of terror!

2008-11-27T16:02:00.003+08:00

I just returned after giving my exam and was complaining that it didn't go upto my expectations, when I read the news just to destress a bit. And I read about the Mumbai gun attacks. Over 100 people have been killed and more than 300 are injured. There has been havoc in the entire city. With the terrorists still in the Taj mahal Palace Hotel and Oberoi Trident and the firing still on, no one can say what the final toll will be.

Actually, this is a new face of terror in India. Till now there have been bomb attacks. But now, the terrorists are coming out in the open, carrying out gun battles with the security forces. Does this mean that the security of the country is failing terribly??

I can never understand how people can get ready to kill other innocent people just to induce terror in a country. I pray for the souls of the dead to rest in peace, the ones captivated to come out safe and the families of the victims to bear the pain with full strength. This act of terror might trigger other acts of terror. I hope that no one kills others to revenge this act.

ps. England cricket team's ongoing tour of India has been cancelled following Mumbai terror attacks

Need Solace!!

2008-11-22T18:19:00.004+08:00

I am not feeling good after giving today's exam! Somehow there was no feel good factor while writing the exam. Two of my close friends also didn't have a good exam so, I am just not happy!

The weather is much better now! It brings some solace. Pity that I am not able to relax. My next exam is in 5 days but there is just no peace. I am pre-occupied with a lot of things.

Missing my father a lot! Talked to him for quite some time today. Discussed all the political, economic and cricket issues. Fathers are just amazing! If you want to make them feel special, just start discussing world issues and they will give all their expert advice. Sometimes I just wonder why is it so difficult to say I love you to a father? I can probably count the number of times I have said it to him. I say it almost everyday to mummy but with papa its just a different equation. Might be just a cultural thing. In fact, it extends to all male figures - brothers, male friends, uncles, grandfathers!! Hmph!

Was just you-tubing when I found this amazing speech by Obama delivered on Father's day:

I still don't understand why I wrote this post!

First Exam over!!

2008-11-20T13:38:00.002+08:00

I just finished writing the exam for my favourite module this sem - HR2002 : "Human Capital in Organizations". While coming out of the exam hall, I realized how much this module has taught me about life in general. I have definitely grown as a person, more accepting the differences in other people, understanding so many different aspects of work life. Understanding emotions, importance of postponing judgements, human moments, the double loop learning.. the list is endless.

I think a lot of credit goes to my lecturer Ms. Chua Siew Beng who was very effective in teaching the module and motivating us to realize the importance of the module. As she very rightly said in one of the lectures that the very reason that this non-technical 3 MC module is an essential for us is that it carries a huge value in our day-to-day behaviour. I can't agree more. I have seen myself change a lot during the course of the module. I have actually arranged my notes, readings and supplementary readings to put them in use when I need them during my work life. And I think I would really want to discuss the work related issues with Ms. Chua as well.

I loved the readings, the class discussions, the group project and all the members of the tutorial group E05. Getting up for a 9 o'clock lecture is always troublesome but I used to be so enthusiastic to go for my HR class. I made all I-am-not-interested-in-listening expressions when anyone said that the module is useless. I think these things teach us the small lessons in life which are usually neglected but make a significant difference :)

The other thing which I realized while doing the module is the importance of connecting with people. When I ask the NUS alumni about why they don't come often to the university, they often reply that they don't feel connected to the university. But then who's fault is it? We can't connect to the walls and the stairs of NUS. Its the people we connect to. But once we and our friends graduate, there is no one we have connected to because we never established connections with the lecturers who will be the ones staying back once we graduate. I am guilty of doing that too. Specially Professors like Dr. Faizal Bin Yahya and Dr. Winston Kwok who had once inspired me so much, motivated me to perform well and engage in very interesting and intellectual conversations. And now I have hardly tried to remain connected to them. I realized that its time that we look at the lecturers who inspire more than lecturers and more as mentors to learn from them and stay connected to them. Its all about learning through socialization!

I think I should stop writing now and concentrate on my next exam.

Bring it ON!!!!

2008-11-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

With the exams starting tomorrow, all I can say is Bring it On baby!! Doing 6 cores in engineering is one hell of a thing, but I am much better prepared than ever :D

Dear God, be with me as I sit to write the answers.. Keep my motivation high, mind focussed and desires under control throughout the exam period :D May I be able to remember and produce all that I have learnt till now! Help me to maintain my integrity as you always have helped and come what may, I don't want to resort to using unfair means. Keep my mind tension free and the heart willing to help others.

I say this prayer on behalf of everyone sitting for the exams!

To my Tupin!!

2008-11-18T15:28:00.012+08:00

Do you have a FRIEND who:

listens to you for hours without complaining (sometimes the most stupid things, and be labeled as your 'Crap Bin' for doing the same :P) ?
Is your must-have companion for places like sheare's supper shop and clubbing?
Becomes a just-like -that-coming-with-you friend when random guys ask you out for coffee and you don't know how to say no (he also constantly fears that he might someday be beaten by those guys)?
Gets scolded 10 times a day by you?
Makes sure you finish your food or finishes it up for you :P?
You just know is there when you need him?
Personalizes songs which suit your situation just to lift up your mood and spends nights to find that song? (Actually he wanted to personalize your fav song but it doesn't suit the situation! and it is surprising that he remembers your fav song considering you are a music buff and like almost all songs)
Accompanies you anywhere you suddenly feel like going?
Never ever gives a good shot when you are taking a pic with him?
Is so innocent that you feel like slapping the whole world out of his way?
Is the only non-drinking person in your group (apart from you) and you thank God! that you have a companion?
Is capable of making the geographic distances inversely proportional to distance in friendship?
Constantly asks you 'Whair are we going? hahaha...
Discusses his self evaluations with you on board a random bus and you wonder how come he feels like that about himself?
Acts as a catalyst to keep your group as a group and not a cluster of one-to-one friendships?
Makes you jealous by his ability of gelling well with all kinds of people?
Has never been seen tired? He is a storehouse of energy
Falls for the dumb girls around until you finally take up the arduous task of match-making him or atleast approving the girl before he starts dating :P?
Never studies for exams and becomes a pain in the butt when you try to study? (Still manages to be a dean's lister :P)

I have TUPIN (Thats what we love calling him :D ).. He is the most awesome friend one can ask for..

A very apt line :
"Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few that you should hold on to"..

Tupin is definitely one of those precious few!!! Thanks for everything!!!

Memories!!

2008-11-13T22:02:00.005+08:00

I walked in the rain today.. Only when it was just drizzling.. Felt good :)

Something has gone into my dreams.. I am getting all memories of my childhood back (and some weird dreams) Sign of missing home, that warmth of my mum, saloni and me planning our next prank..

I wake up in my funny joker night suit and wait for my mum to do her usual waking me up exercise.. She doesn't come!! My taiji comes and tells me she went to Delhi to give exams. I would have been 2 then and for the first time I realized what is being miserable.

----------------

My mum returns after (I didn't know how to count then) ages.. I run away and hide in the corner of my bedroom.. I am happy and scared.. She comes in and I look at her.. She kisses me.. BLISS

----------------

My cousin tells me that it is fun to cut the sofas with the blade my dad keeps away after shaving.. I cut all the sofas and play with their foam (I did it till the age of 5 I think)

-----------------

I love ice creams.. My family eats ice cream everyday at night.. My cousin teases me every morning.. I want to stay awake today.. I want ice cream.. I sleep early as usual.. But my other cousin wakes me up and gives me his ice cream ("I know he teases you everyday. You will have ice cream everyday from now on").. It just surprises me how the traits in childhood become one's character in adulthood.. Period.

------------------

I want the gada Hanumanji has.. I really want it! (Come to think of it, I am a Hanuman Bhakt since my birth).. My dad and I search for it.. Its not there in entire janakpuri.. We search almost the entire Agra.. not there.. My dad orders a wholesale order of gadas for me.. I was so pampered by my dad! I still miss sitting on the tank of his bike.. I don't like cars.. I want the Kawasaki Bike he had.. We had it till I was 6!

-------------------

I can go on writing.. I love my childhood :D Being in a joint family is the best thing which I could have asked for as a child..

Dimaag ka dahi!!

2008-11-12T17:13:00.002+08:00

'Dimaag ka dahi' literally means brain becoming yogurt..
I always found this expression very funny until today when I used it for the first time in my life!

In the past 30 hrs, I have watched 12 hrs+ (stopped in the 13th hr) of webcast, prepared for the entire 2nd part of a module, prepared for a presentation and then delivered it, got my internship offer letter with some admin problems which were later settled, sat in a 3 hr long sectional teaching class, slept for only 5+ hrs, had only 2 meals (still so full), given a mid term. When I came out of the test venue I knew the precise meaning of information overload..

While walking towards the mid term venue I used the phrase dimaag ka dahi.. and a ganda followed : If more information is overloaded, the dahi will become Chhaach (The yogurt will become butter milk :P) due to the churning of the brain.

Now.. Its solace.. Awesome weather, feeling of accomplishment and SLEEP.. Need some rest! :)

Restless Bug!!

2008-11-10T17:18:00.002+08:00

My travel bug is becoming quite restless these days.. I need to go to a different place now! The next destination is home :)

Apart from that, I can't see any other travel till July when I will be going to US.. Till then, keep the bug asleep! But how how how??

I can travel in India but I want to spend time at home this time as I have no idea when will be the next time I will be home again!

I guess I need to find something so that I can travel before July.. Any ideas?? I have my iLEAD internship from Jan to July so don't suggest a holiday in May p-lease..

Lounge Music!!

2008-11-09T10:50:00.001+08:00

A very soothing remix by Karunesh!! One of those favourite driving music :)

Congrats to Obama!!

2008-11-06T16:58:00.002+08:00

Congrats to a great leader!! I hope that he can deliver what he has promised :)

Too many countdowns to track!!

2008-11-05T00:23:00.001+08:00

I have too many countdowns to keep track! Just hope that everything comes out good in the end:

15 days to first exam
25 days to last project submission
26 days to last exam
32 days to NLDS pre meeting
35 days to NLDS
40 days to home
61 days to my internship :)

I am living the countdown every moment!! Really looking forward to the break after the most stressful semester of my NUS life so far!!

You look so tired!!!

2008-10-31T19:33:00.003+08:00

'You look so tired'

'Oh My God! I think you should get some sleep'

'Hey! Long Time! You have lost weight' *I lurve this one..

'Are you feeling ok?'

'Hey Babe! Saw you at the bus stop today. Are you alright?'

'Your face is losing its colour'

'Eat well!'

'You look so dead. Go sleep!!'

Thats not all, just the most frequently used ones!
This is what happens when you are doing 6 core modules out which 5 have projects and you have missed the first half of the sem to attend an AIESEC conference in Brazil! You are on the National Team of AIESEC and are the conference manager of the biggest conference in your country which will be held in Early December. You are also assisting at Landmark education and working at the Development Office.

I am tired but happy! I now know how much I can stretch myself at one time and I am learning a lot from all these things. In one and a half months, my exams and NLDS (the conference I mentioned) will be over. On 15th december I will be free and then will go back home the very same day! Really looking forward to the break!

Intelligent... are we?

2008-10-25T17:47:00.006+08:00

I have finished reading the Kite Runner. Khaled Hosseini has done some justice to the children of Afghanistan in this emotionally breathtaking novel of his. Afghanistan has a lot of children but very little childhood! And he has presented this view in the most simple words possible.. A rare quality found in writers..

But this post is not about 'The Kite Runner' or Khaled Hosseini or Afghanistan. Its about a conversation I had a couple of hours back which indeed triggered a series of conversations inside my head. I was discussing about how the entire country (Afghanistan) has been devastated because of the whims and fancies of few - Soviet/US army or Taliban, we would never know! The irony of our times is that we are so well informed about the world and yet, so much in oblivion - seeing things through the eyes of the media. Never knowing what might be true!

She made a casual comment - 'You know Shub, we never know! People in today's world are just too intelligent. We will never know what is the real power/person behind it and what the real motive is...' I couldn't follow the remaining part. A separate conversation has started in my head!

Intelligent.. are they? To me they appeared to be the most stupid people ever born in this world. So much so that I feel they were born as humans by mistake, they were supposed to be some animal.

Is taking away love from the world (for whatever real motive was) intelligent?
Is taking away children's childhood intelligent?

Sometimes, I feel the older we get, the more stupid we become, and we feel we are becoming wise! When we are young, we fight over things worth fighting for, things that last for eternity. We fight for our parents' love, we eat with our servant's children, we don't hesitate in showing our love to strangers, we smile, we laugh!

And then we grow up! We become wise. We start fighting for things which we ourselves know won't last for long - money, religion, what inch of land is my country...

Are we actually becoming intelligent or becoming more and more stupid in the garb of maturity and wisdom? Some questions have no answer but they need to be posed.. These questions make us human again! And I think thats what human race is lacking - people with humanity. Will this vicious cycle ever break? I have no answer. Period.

The Bestest Diwali Gift!!

2008-10-23T16:05:00.005+08:00

Yay!.. I have got the Bestest Diwali/Bhai Dooj Gift from the Bestest Brother :)

"The greater the intensity of desire and the later it gets fulfilled, the greater will be the gratitude."
I am going through the exact same experience as I have tried to get hold of the book since I don't know when! And from the time I have got it, I am not able to stop myself from reading it, even with the exams and project deadlines coming up. But hey.. this is the Kite Runner and I need a break! So I am now leaving everything behind and going into some serious reading :)

Thanks a lot Siddharth Bhaiya! I couldn't have got a better advance Diwali/Bhai Dooj gift!

Welcome back!

2008-10-22T13:18:00.004+08:00

WHAM! Thats exactly what I needed from someone for the past few weeks for not being myself and turning into an all-time-complaining-and-seriously-retarded-paranoid-female. My enthusiasm and positivity was affected and I was losing my productivity! But hello, I am back again :) Yay! Thanks to the stranger who's blog generated life in me again. And now, I am super excited about life itself.

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen!

2008-10-20T02:55:00.002+08:00

While having a conversation with my brother, I remembered a line from this song which is my all time motivation!! Enjoy!

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99: Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you can imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't know.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And then you do you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look like 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more that it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Nobel Peace Prize Winner is an AIESEC Alumnus!!

2008-10-15T01:30:00.004+08:00

The Norwegian Nobel Committee awarded its 2008 peace prize on Friday to Martti Ahtisaari, the former Finnish president who has been associated over decades with peace efforts and quiet, cautious diplomacy from Asia to Africa and Europe.

Out of 197 people nominated for the annual prize, the committee said, Mr. Ahtisaari had been chosen for his important efforts in several continents and over three decades to resolve international conflicts.

To outsiders, Mr. Ahtisaari, 71, has often seemed an undemonstrative and aloof figure. But some people who worked with him praised what Gareth Evans, the head of the nongovernmental International Crisis Group in Brussels called charm and humor in dealing with his various negotiating partners.

He has played a central role in ending conflicts that took root in the late 20th century and threatened the early 21st century with conflagrations in many places, some of them remote and all of them complex, presenting mediators with tangles of ethnic, religious or racial passions.

Specifically, the committee mentioned his work in ending South African domination of Namibia, the former South-West Africa, from the 1970s to the late 1990s , and peace efforts in the Indonesian province of Aceh, Kosovo, Northern Ireland, Central Asia, the Horn of Africa and, most recently, in Iraq.

- from the New York Times

Martti Ahtisaari was an AIESECer from Finland. How cool is that? Not only are we the only student organization with a seat in the United Nations, we have a Nobel laureate among us. Congratulations Mr. Ahtisaari!

The Name Game!

2008-10-07T15:52:00.001+08:00

What Shubhangi Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.

You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.

Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Keeping the inner child alive!

2008-10-05T13:24:00.006+08:00

So, finally after having a week of emotional roller coaster, I have a reason to be happy all over again :).. For a lot of you, this post might have been from a 2 years old (if they knew how to blog) rather than a 20 years old, but as they say : always keep the inner child alive :D

So, do you remember this song : 'Tan ki shakti, mann ki shakti'
Yes, I am definitely talking about our good old Bournvita. Do you remember that morning glass of milk with Bournvita before you went to school, and the one which you drank in the evening before going out to play some random game with your colony's baccha party, and definitely the one which you drank after a tiring day just before going to bed? Oh and forgot to ask, the bournvita you nicked out of the kitchen when no one was watching! Hmmm... now u remember all those moments :P

Well, I have always been an outright bournvita lover. I can drink it all the time. Life was difficult to imagine without bournvita. But then I came to Singapore. Whoosh, we were separated and I found replacements. But then if your love is true, you realize it sooner or later. So, after 2 years of separation, I am back with bournvita! Though, it doesn't come in a jar here and can only be found at Mustafa, I just can't express my happiness when I drank the first glass of bournvita in Singapore this morning. It was like heaven :) I guess, sometimes you can't live without some things!

A different Dimension!!

2008-09-29T21:16:00.004+08:00

While talking to Udit Bhaiya, I realized how different the dimension was from which I was feeling the pain of my Nanu Passing away! I still have my exams, lab reports, assignments, meetings, classes.. Its not like it would have been in India, where I could have stopped my life for some days and cried with my family. Life is going with as fast a pace here. Nothing has changed here, even giving me the delusion that I am seeing some bad dream which will end soon. Its difficult to talk to the people back home, the way they are talking to me.

But I have got good friends who understand me well and hardly leave me alone. So, I am living a routine life. Its also bad in some respect, because there is something stuck in there which is not going out of my system. I get distracted while working and then get myself to concentrate coz I know the deadline is approaching. Nanu wanted me to do well in my studies, in my career and travel around the world. And thats what I should concentrate on doing now. Thats what will keep my Nanu happy and thats what I should devote my energy into.

Had a talk with Maa and Nani today. The strongest females I know of. Gave me a lot of strength and energy :)

I love you Nanu!!

2008-09-28T11:46:00.002+08:00

Dear Nanu,

Just came to know that you have started your journey to heaven sometime back. I really regret not being able to talk to you before you went so far far away. Actually, I am really trying my best not to shed tears when you begin a new life, but then I realized that these tears are not because you left us, You are now free of all the pain of being human. These tears are because I didn't fulfill some of my promises to you, because I know you really wanted to see somethings, because now I have no one to say 'Desh bada gambhir hai' every 5-10 mins!

I know how much you wanted to come to Singapore and I promised that once I graduate, Nani and you can permanently shift to Singapore. All the passport issues which happened, when you applied for the passport after hearing this promise, they just show how much you wanted to see my life here. I am sorry that I can't fulfill that promise now.

I know how much you were waiting for me to go to US next year. That you have already announced to the whole Kosi about this, and I was so embarrassed when people were talking about it all the time. How you have shown anyone who is interested to, all the newspaper articles, all my cuttings, writings and anything at all. How happy you used to become when I got even a simple thing right! I used to get embarrassed when you used to tell everyone about it, but later I realized its just your way of showing how much you love me and are proud of all the little things I am doing.

I have heard and seen how great a father you are! And I realized that when mummy just couldn't talk today and passed the phone to Gudiya Mausi. You will be really missed Nanu, your pampering all your grandchildren will also be missed a lot. Ani-Apoorva, and Anu-Avi still have their Nanaji and Dadu with them, but Saloni and I have lost the 2 people who used to pamper us the most (Dadu and you).

And I just realized that I never thought that you will leave us, so I never told you that I love you!

Yours,
Shubhi

I am happy!!

2008-09-27T00:54:00.003+08:00

Just came across happiness after a long time! So,

Happiness is sitting with your previous MC team on one of the benches outside Gourmet cafe and laughing at the prospects of having either one of them as a Chair for an upcoming conference!
Happiness is also meeting all the wonderful AIESEC alumni who have done so much for the organization and are willing to do more so in the future.
Happiness is cracking random jokes with your Boss in the previous team and sharing all your workload of the current team!
Happiness is also finding a mentor in someone you give a call early morning and discuss your self doubts with her. And she listens to you and motivates you to a great extent to believe in yourself.
Happiness is getting a call from a company of your choice for an interview in about 5 hours time.
Happiness is having a good and meaningful chat with your interviewer.
Happiness is getting confirmation of your selection in that company withing an hour of the interview.
Happiness is hearing your dad say, "I told your mum that you will get through :)"
Happiness is getting a call from your mum in an AIESEC event being worried why you gave her 13 missed calls and then revealing that you got through the company you so dearly wanted.
Happiness is sitting with some of the team members and sharing with them about totally random things.
Happiness is getting the feeling of being competent again.
Happiness is sharing your happiness with a friend sitting in Finland :D

In the Name of God!

2008-09-24T23:32:00.003+08:00

I finally watched he movie, 'Khuda Ke Liye' (In the name of God!). My interest in the movie actually came from my deep love in Pakistan and Afghanistan, which in itself comes from the great interest I have in Islam as a religion.

To be frank, the movie can be watched from 2 perspectives - one which might consider Islam as a very austere and rigid religion, the other which expresses that Islam is a religion, and what shape it takes in your life depends entirely on how you perceive it, how you practise it! I chose the latter perspective.

The movie makes you see the perspective of those people as well who might do anything In the name of God! Thats how Jehad can take so many different forms. The belief of these people is so strong in whatever they are doing that all logic leaves them. They are as keen to kill as they are to die. And its extremely difficult to make them see what impact that creates on the world.

But at the same time, it doesn't mean that all the followers of Islam are like that. Its just a matter of how the same religion can influence different people in so many different ways. How it can have so many different dimensions! The final objective of all this is to come close to God.

The movie also shows the Male Chauvinism so widely practised in Pakistan, Afghanistan and though not mentioned in the movie, I dare to say, the entire South Asia. Previously, I used to feel that Islam prefers males, by not allowing females to have more than 1 husband while men can have upto 3 legitimate wives. Then I came across the logic behind all this, and I actually started believing in it. And the male chauvinism is more of a culture thing than a religious thing.

All religions give you a way of living lives. They always have a valid logic and reason behind it which is very well explained in the holy scripts. To understand the religion with more depth and follow it, we need to understand the logic. If that logic applies in today's times, good enough, if not then we can chose to follow it or not!

Back to where I was!

2008-09-21T22:03:00.003+08:00

It all seems like a deja vu to me but I am back to where I was exactly 1 year back! All the catching up in academics, loads of AIESEC work, personal life screw ups and no hope of anything getting back to normal! At this time, I again see the same solution : run away from everything and go back home, if only it was possible. But the way I am taking it this year is much better than last year! I think some things are just not meant to be and workaholics like me should just study and do AIESEC work.

Yes, I have definitely grown and matured a lot in the past year. I am more accepting to let people go, more accepting to work like a machine all day long, more accepting to be an island once more, more accepting while writing this post on a Sunday night knowing that its mid sem break and probably every creature in NUS and NTU is partying!

Before coming from Brazil, I was telling Tarun how afraid I was that things might become just the way they were last year, me working all the time and paying heavily for it, and he said that I am the most stupid person in the world! Somehow, it turns that I am not (unfortunately). Lets see how things shape up in the future! :)

Mid Sem Break!!

2008-09-19T18:14:00.002+08:00

Yay!! The mid sem break is here... Even though my first half of the sem was mostly spent in Brazil, mid sem break is always very welcome! I think for me mid sem brings a lot of things. Here are the keyones:

I can catch up with the studies :)
Get to be an AIESEC machine and do loads of AIESEC work
Meet a lot of people I am not able to meet otherwise
Read some books
Watch loads of movies :D
Go for random outings
Sleep till bored of sleeping
Get to write all sorts of random blogs (this one included)

So here I go for an awesome mid sem break!

JumpStart! 2008

2008-09-14T23:23:00.004+08:00

Before I forget, I want to write my experience and learning down! JumpStart (JS) this year gave me a chance to view a conference from a completely new dimension. I was the "Conference Manager" and the "Agenda Manager". Today at the closing I was very emotional, and the emotions were the ones which you get only when you have achieved something much more than you expected. To be frank with myself, I have kind of forgotten this feeling since December 2006. I am not saying that I did not achieve things or am among those vain people who think that achieving those things is almost nothing! I expect a lot from myself, sometimes a bit too much and most of the times, I cannot achieve as expected or just barely reach my target. But this time, I was able to get that sense of achievement and fulfillment which somehow was only predominant in my school life! And surely, it is one of the most beautiful things :) I did not achieve all this on my own definitely, and have a long list of people to thank for it! Specially Grace!

The best thing which happened to me was that I found myself back - the energy, passion, drive, zest for meeting people, which I was losing due to some things not going quite well, were revived. I still remember my conversation with Cheryl during IC about how we should not let our identity be affected by how other people receive it, and I actually did that in JS! The delegates are a major reason for this shift!

I learned a lot from my team too. The importance of team work, enthusiasm, love and the thirst for improvement and learning. The things which we always have in the back of our heads got reinforced. And I am now more confident of my abilities than I have been for quite some time!

In Love with Afghanistan!!

2008-09-10T23:01:00.003+08:00

One week from now, I had just landed after having an awesome experience from Brazil!! And the past week had gone in studying, catching up with school, preparing for JumpStart! 2008, catching up with friends, hardly coming online and entering room late at nights and wondering if I will ever be able to unpack and clear my room... Today, I decided that I needed a break. Those who know me well will agree that my break will be:

Cleaning my room : A happy workaholic as I am, my break will definitely comprise some work
Reading a book : One of my favourite weekday past-times

I chose both.

I have just started reading the book, "Ghost Wars : The secret history of the CIA, Afghanistan and Bin Laden, from the Soviet Invasion to September 10, 2001" by Steve Coll (Co-incidentally, the date when the book ends, I start reading it - 10th September) Actually, my choice of this book goes well with my new found love for Afghanistan, a love which was conspired by the universe by a series of events.

On my way to Brazil, I watched "The Kite Runner" which covers the life of Afghans in a very touching way. Then I met Bashir from AIESEC in Afghanistan during the International Conference. He shared his experiences and the country's history and present. It was really great to see how the people who have actually gone through so much in life still haven't given up hope on the intrinsic goodness of the humankind! How much they are willing to build their country, to get different people into their country, how they have preserved their innocent child through all the tough times. And here I am, completely in love with the country!

The more I come to know about the country, the more I feel sympathetic for the general public of the country, the selfish of various countries surprises even more! There were deaths which could be prevented, there was destruction just to satisfy the egos of people and nations, there was chaos to invoke terror in people, there were rapes to make the young boys hate the world and be ready to kill anyone (their only fault being that they were born in Afghanistan). A country which is very strategically located, has some of the most beautiful landscapes in the world is famous only for terrorism.

And even now, people have a closed and narrow-minded mindset towards the country! Only the southern part is dangerous as the Taliban is taking refuge there but still no one is willing to go to Afghanistan! It needs the support of the entire world to build itself again, but how much help is it getting??

As far as I am concerned, I will definitely go to Afghanistan! I just hope that other people also change their mindsets about the country

Why I love International Congress!

2008-08-30T23:07:00.002+08:00

I just love AIESEC International Congress! There are several reasons for that of which I want to highlight the key ones:

I get to be with over 700 people from 106 countries and all these people are passionate about things which usually people our age find fluffy - changing the world, fighting HIV/AIDS in Africa, creating more awareness, being culturally sensitive and leaving this place better than we found it.
I am motivated to work even harder to achieve my AIESEC as well as personal goals.
I get trained by the top management people of top brands about management and leadership.
I get to dance all the AIESEC roll calls and learn some more.
I get inspired to continue my AIESEC XP and to complete it by participating in every stage.
I find value in my life and get the confidence back which kind of seeps away during the course of the year.
I become closer to whichever team I am part of.
I get to talk to people from such countries which no one can imagine and change my perception about those countries - this year, the country about which I learnt the most is Afghanistan
I get to make friends who will last the lifetime
I understand the importance of my friends back in Singapore and most importantly my family.
I get to thank God! for whatever vegetarian food variety I get to eat.
I get inspired to travel round the world.
I get to see the cultures of different countries and specially of the hosting country.
I find the value in the phrase - "I am an AIESECer"

Isn't is amazing to do all this at the age of '20' and be willing to give back to the world?

Achievement is a mental game!!

2008-08-29T09:24:00.002+08:00

Go for your golds the way an athlete pushes himself to reach his full potential

What rating would you give yourself on personal productivity?

Do you have a systematic plan for improving your effectiveness in your daily work?

Super-achieving business people and athletes know what it takes to motivate themselves, maintain focus in the face of obstacles and drive forward to the completion of their vision and dreams.

They take charge of their work by being aware of their personal patterns of behaviour and adjusting and experimenting with new ways of doing things. Imagine if yu could quickly recover from fatigue, mental setbacks, surprise problems, overloaded task lists, lack of time and all else that can stand in your way of working near optimum levels.

Top achievers begin the process by carefully noting what is and what is not in their control. They then only focus on those things over which they have control and let go of those things that are out of their control.

If you list all the things you must do in a day and all the roadblocks that might fall in your way, you willl quickly realise that the only thing you have true control over is yourself.

Start with yourself

So to improve productivity and effectiveness, begin by focusing on yourself.

Focus on your attitude, your thoughts, how you feel, how you react to problems, how you prepare to succeed, how you review your performance and how you set and go after realising your goals.

Here are some tips for improving personal effectivess:

1. Plan your work and then work your plan

This is an old saying, but it contains simple wisdom. You have to know where you want to go before you get there.

2. Remember, "Mile by mile it's a trial, but inch by inch, it's a cinch"

If you look at everything that you must do, it can seem overwhelming.

But if you break down each project into tasks and objectives and just focus on these bite-size portions, you will be amazed at how quickly the little things combine to complete major tasks.

Take care of the little things, and the big things will take care of themselves.

3.Ask yourself, "A month or a year from now, will this matter?"

If you get mired in trivia, get distracted by surprises or get sidetracked by things that "feel good to complete, but that are off-task", then ask if what you are doing now will have any impact on your future goals. This will keep you focused on what is truly important.

4. Set deadlines and make timetables for executing each objective that takes you closer to your goal

It is amazing how a future due date drives current behaviour.

Keeping records of tasks completed gives you proof that you are making progress.

Having a deadline creates some urgency to complete the task.

5. Post and consult your priority list many times every day

This will keep you on track through those crazy, unpredictable days. It is so easy to lose sight of what is important and to begin putting out fires when you should remain focused.

6. Review your day and ask yourself, "What were the top three things I accomplished today?"

This makes you accountable to yourself and helps you measure how well you stayed focused on our priorities. It will also help you set up the next day.

7. Clean up the tasks and projects that annoy and frustrate you the most

This might be office clutter, paper piles, a messy desktop on your computer, not being able to find things, or anything else that bothers you every time you look at it or think about it. Conquer it and free your energy.

8. Celebrate your successes

Many people go through their days and weeks barely congratulating themselves for their good deeds and accomplishments.

Don't keep focusing on what you lack or on what you still have yet to complete. Give yourself credit for jobs well done and for wading through the many tasks you finish each day.

9. Continually reset new goals once you reach each goal

This is one of the true secrets of super achievers. They continually re-adjust strategically as each goal is met. They endlessly create new goals to fuel the fires of motivation and to take themselves closer to their potential.

Maintain your self-awareness, make adjustments and execute your plans like top business and sports performers, and you also can become a super achiever at personal effectiveness.

Adopted from The Straits Times, Saturday, August 16, 2008, which is adopted from Bill Cole, the Mental Game Coach.

Passion and The Future!

2008-08-29T00:47:00.002+08:00

Today, I realized the power of my life and the difference I can make to the world, to the future. Being present in the plenary of International Congress means that I have the brains, the talent, the skills, the passion to make a positive impact in society and make up the top 2% of the 32,000 members present in the AIESEC network. This gives me immense influence, even beyond my realization, but only for one year. I have 2 options now. To have a good impact in this 1 year or to have an unbelievable impact on the future? I can celebrate the 60 years of AIESEC’s history or work hard to make history which impacts the next 60 years of AIESEC and the world in general. If I believe in anything, I need to be BOLD. If I don’t know what I can do to change the world, I still should be BOLD anyways.

If I am lucky enough, I have 60 more years to live. Do I have a dream to change the world? What am I doing this year to achieve my dream? And now I ask you, do you have a dream to change the world, to make a difference? What are you doing to achieve it?

“If your dreams are not scary,
they are not big enough”

The very reason that I am sitting in International Congress is because I am afflicted by the passion which runs through the entire organization. But is this passion becoming my comfort zone?

“Passion is scary only when its right”

To experience that observe a person who is head over heels with love, the passion is terrifying, but its right coz Love is always right. Is my passion of creating a positive impact in society scary?

What difference will I make when its time for me to move on in AIESEC?
What difference will I make in the world when I am done with life.

Life is a gamble.
In the end, death always wins.
But what are you doing in the present to impact the future?
Living in fear always or being BOLD and creating the impact?

Its not about creating Your Future, but its about creating THE FUTURE!

APGN Pre-meeting

2008-08-26T03:59:00.001+08:00

Last year pre-meeting played a big role in deciding the direction of my IC XP, in instilling me with the high spirits that lasted through IC and in making some wonderful friends, so this year I was really looking forward to it. I just love the energy AP creates as a GN and makes sure that every member of the AP family gets immersed into this energy. The roll calls it showcases, the warmth it emits and the diversity it unites inspires me (and I am sure a lot of other people as well) and motivates me for giving my 100% to this GN and whatever I do in life. Another important aspect of Pre-meet which I simply love is the opportunity to talk about the hard-core AIESEC stuff with AIESECers from all the countries (at least most of them turn up for the pre-meet).

The most inspiring part of this year’s pre-meeting was the session on Talent Management run by Daz, the Talent Management Unit (TMU) Chair, exclusively for the VP Talent Management and Local Committee Presidents of the AP region. Those who know about my work life will definitely know that my topmost priority for this year’s IC was to develop a comprehensive Tracking template with quantitative and qualitative tracking. This session gave me very cool ideas about the tracking template and a lot of other things to motivate me to work harder. But the way the session was run by Daz really inspired and touched me through and through. I reached a new level of passion which I have never experienced before. I always thought that my passion for AIESEC is already at the maximum level possible, but I would say that this session proved me wrong.

Last year, I was thinking of heading for the future after my LCP term and go for the NOC programme of NUS. I remember very clearly that during Pre-meeting, something struck me and I decided that I will run for Vice President Talent Management. And here I am, Vice President Talent Management AIESEC Singapore 08/09. A similar thing happened to me this year during the pre-meeting. I thought that I will not be going to the exchange part of the AIESEC XP. The pre-meeting was very much focused on exchange and they presented Vijit Bhaiya’s case study. There I saw how my brother is not only impacting his life but also the lives of so many different people in both his internships in Poland and Austria. How people from all the countries come and ask me if I am Vijit’s sister! And ask if I am going to have the same kind of wholesome AIESEC XP. And this inspired me to finally decide that I will be going for an internship, even if its only DT for a couple of months. I will complete my AIESEC XP because that not only impacts my life but the lives of so many different people.

So with renewed energy and passion, I thought that I was prepared to experience AIESEC International Congress 2008 (Responsible Youth. Sustainable Future)

Rio De Janeiro!

2008-08-25T10:19:00.004+08:00

If Sao Paulo was about being introduced to the Brazilian culture, then Rio was about being awed and shocked by the culture, beauty and reality of Brazil all at the same time. The loud music, the most exotic beaches, a warmer weather, bus breakdowns a number of times and one of the seven wonders of the world present a striking contrast between the 2 cities.

Journey to Rio: So we joined the Study Tour to Rio on 15^th (which is also the independence day of India) and reached Rio at 10 pm. However, it being a Friday night we all went to a club. It was great to see the live culture of Brazil. One striking difference between the clubs in Singapore and in Brazil is the music. While in Singapore we dance on world popular songs, the Brazilians enjoy dancing to Samba music. Samba is a very close couple dance. I was introduced to the open and fun culture of Brazil. I am not sure if its true but from my observation, I think that if a guy wants to approach a girl here, he passes her a flying kiss. If the girl shows welcoming signs then they start dancing together. Another thing which I observed about Samba is that it usually ends in people kissing each other and many times being more physically intimate. It is also not uncommon to have more than 1 Samba partner on the same night. I could also see some budding AIESEC couples in all the festive mood J

The next day (Happy Raksha Bandhan to all the brothers and sisters of the world) started with a bang (no perversion intended) at the Copacabana Beach. Copacabana is one of the Best and most famous beaches in the world, and I would definitely give my vote to it. The sand was super cozy. I could just sleep on it (if the sunshine wasn’t so staunching). The water was crystal clear and to my great relief was quite cold. The waves were also quite high and I enjoyed watching some people water surfing. There were a lot of people wearing too scantily-covering bikinis on the beach which as an Asian is a rare sight for me. I also savoured the Best Coconut milk I have drunk till now on the beach.

Our next destination was the Maracana Stadium which is the largest Football stadium in the world and will be hosting the finals of FIFA world cup 2014. The finals were held in 1958 in which Brazil was defeated by Uruguay and they are now all looking forward to win the world cup in 2014 to get back their pride. We also went to the changing rooms of the players (my first time in a football team’s changing room). I had certain shots from the movie ‘Remember the Titans’ running in my mind. And when I was entering the field from the changing room, I had goose bumps.

Our next destination was Sugar Loaf. For this we could either go by cable car or hike up the mountain. Esvi and I decided to hike up (very tiring but a cool experience). The hiking was all worth it. The sight from the sugar loaf was mesmerizing. We could see the entire city of Rio De Janeiro from the top.

The next day started by going to Ipanema Hippie Fair where I did a lot of shopping. And then boom - We saw the most inspiring sight of our tour – the Christ Redeemer. I don’t think I can describe the experience in words, but it truly is one of the seven wonders of the world. (So, now I have seen 2 wonders of the modern world).

Another key highlight of the tour was striking a lot of friendships, 2 of which are quite close – with Joey (LCP, New Zealand) and Pedro (LC VP Finance, Brazil). Also, I came to know the weird Mathematics practice in Brazil. They interchange the use of decimal point and comma in numerals. Example, 1.230 is one thousand two hundred and thirty while 1,230 is one point two three.

The OC had done a great job and they were all very warm people. But now was time to move on for the Asia Pacific Growth Network Pre-Meeting (APGN Pre-meeting) which was to be held in Hotel Del Verde, Sao Paulo.

Sao Paulo - Pre Congress

2008-08-15T13:26:00.003+08:00

So I somehow managed to reach Sao Paulo after being in the air for about 29 hours and having very little food (they don't have veg food on board :P). My first impression of Sao Paulo was that its so much like India. And so it is-India in the mild winters at this moment.

All the buildings here are very different - different in the sense of architecture, the times they were built in, the material used etc etc. Most of them have the Portugal architecture, reminding me of the little of Europe I saw last year in Turkey. The roads remind you of the old Roman times as they are made of stones. One weird yet interesting fact is that they name their streets on dates 15 De Novembro, 3 de Dezember, 25 de Maio (May), etc etc. There are quite a lot of open squares in the place where u can easily spot fat (and really fat) pigeons. There was a road which reminded so much of Mussourie. I just couldn't get over the fact. The markets were bustling with people and samba songs. I even heard the song which inspired (for not wanting to show disrespect to Indian music directors) the music of Aap Jaisa Koi (Qurbani)

The people here are quite tall and sturdy. I won't be considered tall over here. Even the females are quite tall and sturdy. People, on the whole, are very friendly, sometimes too friendly to raise my suspicions. However, their sexual instincts get high after 4 pm, or so it seemed to us while walking. People were giving weird signs and it was no longer safe to walk on the streets even in a big group as ours. But we reckon that we went to the wrong place without knowing ;). Oh, and a interesting fact is that people think I am Portuguese and that is what I call truly exotic.

Language is a big barrier here. No one speaks English (Policemen to sales person in super markets or even the staff at the tourist places). But it is somehow a blessing in disguise. I have learnt more Portuguese in 1 day than I have learnt Chinese in 2 years.

As far as Tourism is concerned, Sao Paulo doesn't have a lot to offer. There's the Cathedral, Banco De Estado (the building from where I got to see the entire city of Sao Paulo) and the place where Sao Paulo was founded. These are pretty much the tourist spots. However, I would say that the city's normal life is a treat in itself to be savoured.

I kind of like the Brazilian food even though its very difficult to make people understand that I am vegetarian and there is very little vegetarian food. However, the fruits and milk are really good here and for someone who likes them a lot, Sao Paulo can be a paradise.

And now I am all excited to go to Rio de Janeiro in a couple of hours. :D

Life and How to Survive it!

2008-08-12T00:03:00.003+08:00

I was just reading Sharon's blog and found this amazing Convocation speech at the NTU Convocation 2008.

Life and How To Survive It!!

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.

Just Like That!

2008-08-11T16:28:00.014+08:00

Hmm... I have been super lazy to update blog :P I was back in Singapore on 1st August and am a bit more learned than when I went to India.. I have learnt driving and microwave cooking... hee hee..

Birthday Bloopers

From a Different angle (My paternal side)
Vijit Bhaiya, you were missed a lot :D

India was fun as always, I didn't want to come back at all *hiks hiks* There was full masti and I went to Jaipur also... Amazing trip with my maternal family.. otherwise just chilling at home, meeting people and eating eating eating... gained a lot of weight :P

Mausi and Me (City Palace)

Most of us (Hawa Mahal)

Elephant ride with Anu (Chowki Dhaani)

The best part of the trip was the fact that my Best Friend, Rashika, was also in Agra at that time :D Which made it the most relaxed time of my life after so long... Those cooking classes where we made fun of everyone, going to eat random stuff, playing with aadi-diaa, going to school in a big gang, or just doing nothing at all :P Most cherishable memories!! :D The day when we all went out for Kismat Konnection.. Amazing and unexpected... Me having accidents :P... hahahaha..

Rashika and me (My place)

Aadi-Diaa (Rakhi at Rashika's)

And now, I am just a day away from leaving for Brazil! More fun awaits for sure~

Ho gayi hai Mohabbat!

2008-06-18T03:46:00.003+08:00

I was listening to the radio and heard this song.. I think I was 9 or 10 years old when this song was released and for the longest time I was searching for it... Some clue or something.. And finally found it on Youtube now.. Some great soul uploaded it

I was nostalgic, so many memories went through.. Not only is the video very cute but the song is one of my fav love song!! Even for someone as unromantic as me, this song can do magic!!

And thats why I have even embedded it on my blog forever!!
If anyone has it downloaded, please please please give it to me :D

No more a TEEN!!

2008-06-16T16:57:00.008+08:00

So I just turned 20 today!! For all those who don't remember my B'day.. tsk tsk tsk... hehe

I think i just crossed the most innocent phase of my life. No, I am not suggesting that I am not going to be innocent anymore but I won't be as innocent as I was till yesterday :P

I absolutely love my life till now and want to capture 100 things about me and my life which everyone doesn't know.

1. I want to become a Politician in India later in my life because
2. I will (I have not written 'want to' as I am sure that I will) contribute to the progress and betterment of my country however,
3. I want to start my career as a HR professional in a start up/SME.
4. I like being called Shubhangi more than any of my nicknames as I think that it is one of the most beautiful names in the world.
5. I am not a very girly girl and
6. I can't stand very girly girls.
7. Among the 10 closest friends in my life, only 3 are girls and
8. All 4 of us are in 4 different countries at this moment.
9. I love travelling and
10. I know I will never be able to save a lot of money as I will spend it seeing the world.
11. I think my mum is the most caring and powerful lady ever born on this earth and
12. I respect her as much as I respect God.
13. I am a devotee of Hanumanji.
14. If re-birth exists, I will always want to be my parents' child.
15. I am very close to my extended family as well and
16. I refer to my cousins as brothers and sisters.
17. I have stayed in a joint family for 12 years and wish that every child gets the wonderful experience of being part of one.
18. I am still in touch with my School teachers.
19. I will contribute to my School, Uni and AIESEC with money and manpower when I am working.
20. I am very possessive about my sister and can't hear anything not-so-good about her.
21. I have a very sweet tooth but
22. I also crave for spicy Indian food.
23. I miss home cooked food.
24. I can't smoke. The last time I tried, I puffed out and then my friend complained that the cigarette is wet.
25. I have tried booze but I dun like it.
26. I have never got the urge to try non-veg food.
27. I have not kissed coz I feel that you should kiss only when you love someone.
28. I have fallen in love once and it was one of the most wonderful time of my life but I don't intend to fall again coz
29. I fear that I might be commitment-phobic thats why
30. I don't think I will marry but I love kids so
31. I will definitely adopt kids (most probably a girl).
32. My status is single and I don't want to change it.
33. I was never in a relationship but had an 'Extension of friendship' (borrowed term) for a bit over 2 months.
34. I can't differentiate between crush/finding someone cute/liking someone.
35. My first crush was at the age of over 15 on someone my mum's age.
36. I think I have the rare ability of liking more than one guy at a time (but only from a distance).
37. I hate guys who are Male Chauvinist pigs.
38. I dun like skimpy clothes.
39. I can bitch about only 7 people in this world so you have to do something too bad to be bitch-able in my standards.
40. I am very sensitive about Family, friends, India, Islam and Pakistan and can't hear anyone disrespecting them. But I am a follower of Hinduism.
41. My best friend is the most beautiful girl and person I have ever met.
42. The first few things I observe about guys are Eyes, smile and legs below knees.
43. I like cheap songs like jhumma chumma, teri naani mari, meri pant bhi sexy etc.
44. I have very strongly in-built Ideals in life and have the ability of making difficult decisions coz of them.
45. I value Integrity over everything and
46. I hate people who are always late for everything.
47. The one thing I regret about my school life is not being the Head girl of the school as my mum didn't allow.
48. The best thing which happened to me in Uni is AIESEC.
49. I still don't know how I became a topper in ICSE anhd ISC boards.
50. I want to stay with my parents forever.
51. I can get high on coke and milo.
52. I like pepsi more than coke.
53. I have 2 personalities,
54. I am independent, mature and sharp as far as work is concerned but
55. With my friends, I am crazy, immature and always high on life kind of a person.
56. I am workaholic and I am proud of this fact.
57. If I ever marry, I think I'll marry a non-Indian.
58. I want to learn swimming since forever.
59. I am very bad at lying coz,
60. I am brutally honest and express my feelings verbally or non verbally.
61. I started my 20th birthday drinking strawberry milk ;)
62. I love surprises but
63. I am bad at giving them as my feelings are always expressed.
64. I don't like people who give blood relations more importance.
65. I like independent people.
66. I am still gaining height.
67. I like flirting and people who flirt.
68. I love reading all kinds of books.
69. I love walking and cycling.
70. I want to try all adventure sports.
71. When I grow old, I would love to stay in a farm house in the countryside in India.
72. I am a very spiritual person.
73. I love dancing but
74. I am not a very big fan of clubbing but I do get urges to club once in a long while.
75. I want to go on a cruise.
76. I love music and movies.
77. I can't stand reptiles.
78. I don't like being fair, I wanted a darker complexion.
79. I always wanted to have an elder bro and finally got one in Singapore.
80. I dun like people who brag in front of others.
81. I am a people's person.
82. I don't like shopping, but can shop when there is the need to.
83. I find it difficult to trust guys even though my closest friends are usually guys.
84. I love milk and all dairy products.
85. I sometimes wish that I was at Hogwart's and was Hermione.
86. I can never go on a diet.
87. I like people who laugh a lot coz
88. I laugh a lot too.
89. I talk a lot.
90. Everytime I achieve something, the first person I think of is my Dadaji (Grandpa) and just wish he was alive.
91. I didn't use to understand any pervert jokes or sex talks when I came to Singapore.
92. I have fractured my bones a lot of times.
93. I have a good sense of direction, distance and time.
94. I love meeting new people and attending parties.
95. I studied in a catholic school and know a lot about Christianity.
96. I am very good with numbers.
97. I respect my teachers a lot.
98. I am very vocal, outspoken and a total rebel.
99. I am good at acting.
100. I love life!

Perplexity in Friendship!

2008-04-22T23:23:00.004+08:00

A true friend accepts you the way you are! But aren't true friends supposed to be your best critics?? Lately this has been a great cause of perplexity in my life :P
What is the fine line which describes when a friend is being your critic and when that person is trying to find someone else in you?? The thing is your old friends always fall in the former category... They have already become quite used to your ways, have accepted you just as you are, and the rare times when they give you some suggestions to improve, they are just being your critics...
But the question here is when you are in the process of knowing a new person to be friends... Here comes the difficult dilemma of that person finding it difficult to accept you as you are or providing an objective opinion of a well wisher for your genuine improvement! What do you do in such situation?? Run away from that person or try to see the genuine concern that person has...
But then the next question is that if you choose the latter, how to do it?
May be consulting your old friends is a good idea... Now if your old friends disagree with the opinion of the new friend, then do you think that your old friends are too used to you or do you think your new friend is trying to find someone else in you?? And in case you choose the latter, what do you do??

Confusing... isn't it?? Answers anyone?? I am perplexed :P

Total Crap!!

2008-03-03T00:18:00.003+08:00

Hmm.. so I am about 9 and a half hours away from EE2012 mid term test! And how much do I know... Well, I know everything except how to solve the questions!

But this post is not about my test or anything, its about the excitement i am going through.. Coz in less than 24 hours I would be realizing a dream which I have seen for more than 8 months now! Specially since January, the intensity of desire has been increasing exponentially! Strange right that till a week back I couldn't see the possibility of achieving it in the near future and now its going to be mine!!

Everything else seems so insignificant in life... Thats the power emotions hold in our life! :)
I know I am almost dead because there is a lot of pending work which hold a lot of significance for my future but I don't care.... I just don't! owww owww, emotions go away!!

I need to work rigorously for the next 19 hours and now time to sleep to be fresh for tomorrow :)

God bless you all! All the Best for your mid terms people!!

Hello Miracle!!!

2008-02-22T23:43:00.003+08:00

When I was thinking of a Title for this post I was actually confused whether I should call it 'Hello Miracle' or 'Hello Death'... But I wanted to make the context of it powerful rather than scary... And i am writing this post from the context of being 'Powerful'.

So, before we go into my experience, I have a couple of questions:
Have you guys ever come face to face with death?
Have you wondered what all can pass through your minds in a matter of split seconds when you come face to face with death?

It happened to me once on 5th August, 2003 when my life and I were changed for ever!
It happened to me again today, 22nd February, 2008!

I was happily talking to Sai while on board the bus to our Systems and Control Laboratory! We were at the NUS Business School Bus stop when I saw a huuuuuuuuuuuge crane fall. It ripped the Bus Stop apart and cut a tree which tried to block its way! I was on the window seat towards the side where the crane fell and was about 5 m away from the spot where it fell!

But my intention to write this post is not to point out the carelessness of management or set chill down people's spine. My intention is to have a greater conversation which goes beyond all these things.

The first thing which I did after coming to my senses was to say a small prayer thanking God that no one was hurt! And then I just reflected on my thoughts at the time I knew it was coming. I so wanted to tell my Mom that she is the most important person in my life and tell my sis that my love for her has no limits! To tell my Dad that I am proud of him and I love him.

I was thinking that there is some greater purpose attached to my life which I haven't found and fulfilled yet! Life is almost like a present to me now... And I promise you, wherever you are, whoever you are, I am committed to being love, integrity, self expression and happiness for you!

I love life and I love you!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T23:03:00.003+08:00

Qing ren jie kuai le!

Happy Valentine's Day!

The best message received today:

Without you, my days are Sadday, Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shatterday! Happy Valentine's... Hugz....

Thanks Dianochka :*.. Love ya!

Rest:
I was enjoying being single... No commitments... Getting calls from India (Unexpected calls as well)... Wishing my loved ones... And busy doing my EE2007 Mini Project1!!

P.S.: I remember last year on Valentine's day, I was doing my C++ Lab! Guess, labs and projects are perfect Valentine's... And I simply love them :)

Realizations!!

2008-02-06T20:18:00.000+08:00

I was having a conversation with one of my friends today when he started reading my hand!

He could read 3 prominent characteristics I have as a person! To be frank, these qualities were like soooooo true! I mean most people don't know these things about me.... *not all atleast! And he knows me very little... But he was so correct!! So, I am presenting these qualities for you to read.. *don't form any opinion about me P-lease!!:

1. I am Possessive in my relationships. Here, we are talking about all kinds of relationships.. If my Best Friend is getting close to anyone and spending more time than she is spending with me *even though she is in India and I am here, I feel JEALOUS!! I tend to get hurt because of my this characteristic *how true.. But I think that I tend to talk it out with the person if I feel that way... I like to keep my close ones always close to me.. I don't feel its a bad characteristic as most people see it.. In fact, this is the very characteristic which drives me to stay close to my close ones even when I am busy like hell!!

2. I can express and feel emotions with great intensity! Haha, people who know me well would definitely agree with this.. But something which I wasn't very conscious of is that my emotions can get a sharp drop.. Whether its an emotion for a person, situation or anything! Again, its true.. If I look back at my life, this has been evident so many times but I never was aware of it... Something I didn't know that I didn't know... This ability can make me focus on my priorities easily and also my intensity of emotions helps people to bond with me easily *only if I am interested in bonding with them...hehe!

3. I think from heart rather than mind! This is something I was always aware of. I think for me its more of my strength rather than weakness.. This characteristic gives me the power of being empathetic! And a lot of times the ability to get hurt but thanks to quality 2., I can get over it very easily..

Something consistent in all the 3 characteristics is that I am an emotional person... And you know what, I am proud to be one..

Then he asked a question I have been asked a million times, How will you survive in this materialistic and practical world?

Hmm... I have survived till now and I think more than just survived... Lets see how life turns up next!!

Woo Hoo!!!

2008-02-05T21:24:00.000+08:00

Hola!! I just can't resist myself from sharing all the good news I got today from my Indian peeps *muah...

My bro, Atin (I stayed in a joint family with his family), is getting married on 4th March.... I wanna go, wanna go, wanna go... It is an Inter-religion Love Marriage *The third marriage in my generation and till now all have been inter-caste/religion love marriages...hiks hiks! But I won't be able to go there... buhuhuhu! Anyways, I am sooooooooo happy for him!

My another bro, Vijit, might be coming to Malaysia for work! *But there is a biiiiiiiiiiiig might in between :( If he comes, I'll be in Malaysia every second week and he will be in Singapore when I am not there... I just can't imagine how cool it will be! No more home-sickness *ok lor, atleast to a bit less extent...

I talked to Rashika, my best friend, after a long time for a long time... Hehe! And got very interesting updates from her... *Muah, love ya honey!

For all you peeps, stay happy and safe! Live life, love life!

My first Ang Pau!!!!

2008-02-05T19:26:00.000+08:00

Yay! I got my very first Ang Pau today! For the benefit of the non-Chinese people let me explain what is an Ang Pau *Disclaimer: I am not sure if my info is accurate, but this is what I understand!

As you may know (or may not know), 7th and 8th February is the Lunar New Year or Chinese New Year! So, to celebrate the New Year people go to visit each other. Traditionally, people take 2 oranges while going to each others house. Oranges signify prosperity! People also give their guests money in red envelope. This red envelope (with its contents inside) is known as Ang Pau..... I hope whatever I wrote is correct!

My very First Ang Pau!! *Huhuhu

And today I got my first Ang Pau! And it is so special for me because it was given by one of my favourite lecturers in NUS - Dr. Winston Kwok, my FNA lecturer. I just love his way of teaching and attending his lectures is so much fun. He gave Ang Pau to 6 people in that full LT... which made it even more special! He also sang us a Chinese New Year song in the lecture. And to be honest, he sings superbly well! I think after Dr. Faizal Bin Yahya, my Singapore Studies lecturer, if I like a lecturer so much, then it is Dr. Winston Kwok :)

Updates... Finally!!!

2008-02-01T21:07:00.000+08:00

After a looooooooooooooong period of procrastination, I am back in the blogging business!

Hmm... Now so much has happened in the past months that I don't know what all to say!
But the biggest update is that I am a Mum now!~~~~

Ok, before you guys reach to any conclusions, I am referring to getting my Successor in AIESEC Terminology! So proudly presenting to you my dear son, Chang Siew Yik, the President of AIESEC in National University of Singapore 2008/2009! I could not have hoped for a better successor and I am sure that he will be a better President than me.

On a side note, I am the Vice President Talent Management, AIESEC Singapore 2008/2009.

In general, I am happy in Life... with everything around me!
And I promise that I will update you guys from now on!

Back in Singapore!!!

2007-09-02T19:35:00.000+08:00

Hola people,

I am back in Singapore after spending 18 days in Turkey!! For those who don't know, I went to Turkey to attend International Congress!! It was a great experience..... When can you find more than 650 AIESECers from 100 countries in one conference hall... Whoa!!!

Now busy with catching up on a lot of stuff and preparation for Jump Start (the AIESEC Induction Conference).... Nevertheless, will update you guys with the Turkey experience, the photos and all....

Even though the experience was great, I am happy to be back.... with my friends, in my comfort zone.... Having that weird feeling of emptiness, missing people and still happy to be back... Worried about catching up and still a part of me is still in the past in Turkey!! Reliving the IC experience again....

Rakhi!!!!

2007-08-13T11:14:00.000+08:00

Though Raksha Bandhan is on 28th August, but since I will be in Turkey at that time, I tied Siddharth Bhaiya Rakhi today!!! I love this festival!!

Getting ready for the Occasion!!! Siddharth Bhaiya prepared the Roli I gave to him :)

Putting the 'Tika' on his forehead!!!

The guy I love the most in NUS *not in Singapore....hiks hiks!!!

Mwahahahahah!!! Tying the knot of sisterhood for the life-time!!! With yearly renewals.... ;) *Poor Siddharth Bhaiya under bondage now..... wakaka!!!

Rakhi!!!!

Praying for his success and prosperity!!!

Though both of us were not supposed to eat anything until I tie Rakhi... He already ate TIGER Biscuits... Poor me starved!!! *Buhuhuhuhu.... (We are supposed to make each other eat something sweet and break the fast!)

This is such a weird photo!!!!!

I like this pic.. Good work Shankar!!!

The Champu (Siddharth Bhaiya) and Dimpu (Shankar)!!!!!

Being Detached!!!

2007-08-12T00:09:00.000+08:00

I was reading Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.... One part of the book really answered a lot of my questions! It is about getting detached!

"Detachment doesn't mean that you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."

"Take any emotion-love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.' "

How true?? Answered so many of my doubts!! So many times we love something or someone but can't be with that person. We feel lonely and miss our parents. And only when we have reached the height of love, or loneliness.... we realize that that thing doesn't hurt anyore.. We detach ourselves!!! It is almost miraculous... First I used to think that my feelings are not strong enough, not genuine!!! But now I know that they are of a very high intensity and thats why I am able to reach the height of the emotion faster and hence, detach myself faster!!

Co-incidentally, today's thought on my calendar was :

Detachment does not mean lack-of-will-to-live. It does notmean negativism. Detachment means being more objective, more balanced.

Bitter Sweet~

2007-08-11T13:23:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... Dunno what yesterday actually was!! A series of adventures and a mis-adventure... Well, on the whole no harm done so, I think the sweet element was more powerful than the bitter one :)..

The following things happened yesterday:
1. Woke up early after a looooooong time! Yay!! Was ready to rock the world by 7:30 am
2. Went to the Temple... The best part about yesterday! To feel the divine serenity around you, protecting you
3. Went shopping *hiks hiks...but all normal day-to-day grocery... nothing splendid about it
4. Met the people at my office (or rather once my office), got my internship certificate and allowance cheque *muah!
5. Got my turkey Visa!! Yay!! I am goin on Monday... Hurrah! *Thank you Visa Guardian Angel and Vi!!
6. Left my atm card in the machine and realized about 45 minutes later about it.. Gosh!! My heart beat gave a skip, or rather many skips... I had S$***** in my account... Not all mine, infact most of it not mine!! I still haven't finished paying S*****l S$**** for no fault of mine and could not afford to be paying this large amount.. But no harm was done... *Thank you God!! Love you!!
7. Went to NUSSU for some work...
8. Kept someone waiting for me back in India.... If you are reading this I am really sorry!
9. Watched Chak De India!! Awesome movie
10. Met Aman from NTU and had a nice conversation with him *Aman, we should meet more often, you know~

So, I left my room at 7:30 am yesterday and entered it today at 2:45 am.... But I am happy as always to be busy and to use my day soooooo constructively :)... By the way, since I was travelling soooo much yesterday, I finished reading one novel and started with the other one... So, good eh?