Disclaimer: This post is more like a post from me to me.. You might not enjoy it.. So I am not responsible for how you feel after reading it.. Also, if you have decided to read it further, @ is the short form of AIESEC..
It was August 2006 when I joined @ as an organization which had transformed Vijit as a person.. But soon enough I realized that it is not just an organization to me.. @ is friendship.. @ is family.. @ is work.. @ is passion.. @ is everything I have done in the past 3 years.. I am a full timer @er and a part time student..
December last year after NLDS (National Leadership Development Seminar) I burnt out.. I decided that was enough for me.. That was all I had to do with @.. And I went home, rather I ran home.. For the first time, I ran away from something.. Somewhere since then, I had the urge of joining back but I was caught up with internship, other iLEAD requirements, 2 taxing modules and friends going through some tough times..
Even though I was not active in @, @ was very much active in me.. Everyone in my office knows about @.. @ usually gets the credit if I do something well, or when I can work for hrs at stretch without complaining.. But with every mention, there was a strong sense of guilt.. Last year a lot of shit happened and I cleared up the mess.. Shit happened coz of loads of external factors, but it really hurt me when people who didn't have the courage to clear the mess, blamed me just cause I had the courage of going to clear it up.. Having successfully organized 2 big conference in an interval of 3 months with a mountain of shit had burnt me down.. I decided I need a break..
Finally I decided that today I will go to it.. Vijit always tells me that @ is just a miniaturization of world.. There are good things and there are bad things.. What you do in @ pretty much reflects what you do in life and defines who you are as a person.. I didn't want to be a quitter in real life or in @.. So, I finally decided that I am going back..
Some events happened this week which led to the final decision.. I went to Joanne to collect my Visa letter for the US and she asked me about my internship experience.. I shared with her all the amazing things I am learning, the great people I am meeting.. And she asked me questions like: don't you get burnt out with school and internship? don't you feel left out with the employees? you deal with people all around the world, don't feel awkward? My answer was.. No, I have done all this in @.. and I told her about my experience in @ for more than an hr..
Co-incidentally I met my 0708 @ team that very day.. I realized what I was doing to myself.. These are friendships I have formed because of @.. I thought of Sharon, Dei, Diana, Shin and all the amazing people I have met in @.. People from Afghanistan, Cote De 'Voire, Guatemala, Czech Republic, Iran.. People from 110 countries in the world.. I thought of all the big corporate guys who know me because of @..
I thought of all the all-nighters I have hit doing @ work, staying over in the @ office, eating time-outs for breakfast, lunch, dinner while preparing for NLDS.. I thought of all the emails I have got from members all over the world thanking me for changing their lives forever, for inspiring them.. If you have ever been thanked for changing someone's life for the better, you would exactly know what I mean..
I thought of all the things I have achieved in life.. Getting famous in NUS is a big thing.. I am famous as AIESEC girl.. I thought of my trips to Hyderabad, Penang, Turkey, Brazil for AIESEC conferences.. The craziness in the conferences where we would never be tired of dancing, partying, attending sessions and most importantly planning and strategizing for the coming term..
I thought of how I got the inspiration of going to Africa through @.. I know I am surrounded by the people who not only want to do something for the world but are doing it at an age where people are engaged in indulgence.. When people are wondering about AIDS, these people go down to Africa to educate people about AIDS and work with people who have AIDS.. They go to India and fight for child rights.. When the world is complaining about the recession, they come up with Finance projects to help the world..
I thought of all the crazy things I have done in @, the trainee receptions, the airport pick ups, the long trainings and even longer meetings.. @ is very much responsible for lots of things which make me.. I can't leave it.. I have to give my 100% to it.. and I am back with renewed energy..
While I was going to the office, I was nervous.. I was meeting my team after a long time.. Didn't know how they will take everything.. But they were all so eager to help me get back.. And I remembered what Houston Spencer (Alcatel Lucent) told us.. One thing which is common in all @ers is that they are very supportive in bringing the best in others, their sole purpose is to help people meet their best side.. It is a rare thing and if you can maintain it, the world will be lot better.. I saw that happening today.. Thank you guys..
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9 comments:
Very interesting blog... I think you are extremely attached and passionate for @ and thats a great thing. Very few people are able to find that love and craziness you have for @.
But, I feel its time to move on for you. You can be a part of an organization or company but at some point of time, you have to change roles. Maybe leave it and move to a different arena or take a different role in the same organization.
Maybe if you go back to the position you were when you left, things might be different. Maybe you will start repeating things because of the fear of being forgotten for the great things you have done in the past.
Just random thoughts after reading this post.
V
Very interesting blog... I think you are extremely attached and passionate for @ and thats a great thing. Very few people are able to find that love and craziness you have for @.
But, I feel its time to move on for you. You can be a part of an organization or company but at some point of time, you have to change roles. Maybe leave it and move to a different arena or take a different role in the same organization.
Maybe if you go back to the position you were when you left, things might be different. Maybe you will start repeating things because of the fear of being forgotten for the great things you have done in the past.
Just random thoughts after reading this post.
V
Hey Vidit..
Yes, I am moving on to a new position... But need to do some damage control.. last 2 months of the position I am currently holding..
Then will move on to something I have never tried before in AIESEC.. As far as leaving the organization is concerned, I tried that for the past 4 months, it sucks big time..
So I guess, will just change positions.. Also, in AIESEC we usually change positions after a year.. so that is always good..
Thanks a lot for the thoughts.. Its good to have a more objective perspective at this time :)
Cheers..
haha. cool... just read your blog so thought of expressing my views... also seems like my comment is showing twice. lol
Hope you are doing great.
V
My dearest sister,
Never has been a time when I havent utterly enjoyed reading your blog. It is capturing and interesting more than anything its something I always relate to...this one in particular is almost like a time and situation I was in, in my time in AIESEC.
Like we'v talked before about it, like life sometimes in AIESEC you need to challenge your self more. You get burnt out when either you get bored and there is no challenge left or you over-exhaust yourself with work. And if I know you, I know you need a constant challenge a drive and something that someone tells you "You cant do" and then you want to prove them wrong and do things beyond everyones expectations. You have done it again and again and thats your brilliance, your dedication is your weapon.
Your passion makes me very nostalgic, I relate to it completely and I see myself in it a few years ago. AIESEC gave me a lot and helped me shape myself and my career and goals and I always wished that for you. But I also wish you would go all the way in AIESEC, at a point I thought my time in AIESEC was over and for the sake of my learning curve I moved on but it was also another time and place, but I want to see you get right to the top because I know that no one else can compete when it comes to being the best!
You may have heard this is ur time in @, its one of the best so always keep it in mind..."We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit"
Love you sis, your future awaits you and we'r all watching! ;) So keep bringing your A-game!
Vijit
hiiiiiiiii maam no more blogs 4m ur side , is evrything okie ..its really enjoy readin ur blog so post something new.
hey!!! come bck where r u ?
You've done a great job. Sometimes just ignore what people say to you. Not everyone is able to put himself or herself into others shoes.
Great post Shub. If only I could tell you the countless number of times I burnt out and got back; burnt out and got back... Life is a sine wave and that is what it's all about. There's this saying that goes "quit while you're ahead" which means that you might eff it up in the future so just quit while you're still in some kind of position. No, I'm not suggesting that you quit @, but you will have to let go of it sooner or later. Just prepare yourself for that, because it is not easy - precisely for the reasons that you mentioned - such as friendships forged and other events, outings and memories. Another side effect of not being able to let go is that new members who have been inspired can not progress when the position that should've been available for them is still being taken by a senior member. ;)
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