How to cope with the great loss!!

“On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living, that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend's life also, in our own, to the world.”
               ~Henry David Thoreau
  
Death of a loved one is a harrowing and heart rending experience - it shakes all your beliefs, de-stablises you to the core and makes you question the point of anything and everything. Getting out of the vicious cycle of doubt and sorrow is extremely difficult. I am writing this post in the hope of moving people out of the cycle and this is in no way an expert advice. Definitely, a few pointers will change depending on the closeness you had with the one who left us behind.

1. "The best way out is always through" - Robert Frost: Holding back your grief is not going to help. It is perfectly fine to breakdown and feel sorrow, the worst of it - to remember the soul and relive past. It is ok to cry your heart out and even to question life. But it is ok only for sometime - a week, fortnight or even a month. But then you need to tell yourself - Enough! Enough of grieving, take charge of life and remember the person in a way that makes you smile - they would want that too. And this is the beauty of our mind too, the moment we put our foot down, it adheres to us and creates thoughts the way we want to think.

2. Detachment: Consider this (even for just a day) - the world is a drama and this life is like one season of the drama and our next life would be the next season. In the next season, we all have to come back again to settle our karma accounts with each other however for now we need to play our role very well regardless of which actor has left the show till next season. Look at the life events and yourself from the eyes of the audience and then think if you are playing your part well. This exercise gives a lot of objectivity and can be the focus for your meditation. It also gives you the hope of meeting the other person in the next life.

3. Be Happy: Be happy even when it takes immense effort in the beginning. Your loved one would hate to see you so sad and hate themselves further for being the cause of it. You need to be strong for them and for yourselves.

4. Get busy: Try to get back into routine and take baby steps in life. Moving on will seem impossible but then we all have a purpose in life and the fact that we are still alive means that we still need to fulfill our purpose. Find that purpose and take small steps towards it.

5. Do not engage in self-pity: Be mature, be strong and take life in control. Even in the face of the great loss, there are a lot of loved ones who are still alive and need you - lets not ignore them. I believe that whenever God gives us trying times, he also gives us the strength to overcome these circumstances - find your inner strength

6. Help others: Volunteer and help other people. Helping others is the best way to keep yourself happy and content. It makes you feel worthwhile and gives you the strength to move on

Remember, end of life does not mean end of love and love is a positive feeling which gives you strength - don't let it be your weakness.

What ways do you adopt to cope up with such a loss?