Being 21!!

Today is the last day for me to be 21. I kind of like this age and had a lot of interesting (good as well as not-so-good) experiences in this year. Some major highlights for me are:

1. Getting Jane into my life and being a mother :)

2. Travelling to two different continents (North America and Africa) making my count to be 5 continents so far. Now, I am only left with Australia and Antarctica to reach my goal of all the continents by the age of 25 – I can write an entire blogpost on my travel experiences but will leave it for now.

3. Living with a couple of important relationships across continents.

4. Graduating from university and ending the long phase of being a student.

5. Working in slums for the very first time in my life (and that too in slums with HIV positive inhabitants)

6. Giving some job interviews and reaching the final rounds for them – still looking to get selected :P

7. Driving at 110 miles/hr and for 12 hrs at a stretch in US where we had to drive on the left for the first time in my life.

8. Experiencing the uncertainty that life offers after you leave university.

9. Developed some new strong friendships – Archana, JD, Flora, Julie and strengthened the already existing ones.

The year had a lot of firsts for me and I enjoyed being 21. I hope that the coming year also brings with it millions of new opportunities and many more firsts. I hope I get to travel, learn, love and laugh in the coming year.

Leia Mais…

New Beginning!!

And today, I have graduated with an Honours degree :)
That marks the end of being a student, for some time now!! Lets see what I will make of the new stage of life..

Leia Mais…

My journey to Jane!!

The decision: A week into the internship I had decided that I was going to sponsor a child. I asked for profiles of kids with only one condition – should be a girl in primary school. A girl because they are more vulnerable and primary school because younger kids have an ability to overcome trauma of the past more effectively than the older ones when they are given better conditions. The original decision was to co-sponsor the child with a friend. I was presented with 5 names and somehow, Jane clicked with me at once. I asked some basic questions about her and the decision to be her co-sponsor was made. Then on Tuesday, I went to visit her house in the slum. The condition was miserable and I said to myself, “Never again is my child coming here, not even for vacations”.

Unfortunately, the same day I was left with the choice to either sponsor the child on my own or find another co-sponsor. The latter would delay the process and I didn’t want that. Finally, I decided to sponsor the child on my own. Being jobless at the moment, I cancelled all my travelling, rugby and shopping plans in Kenya which left me with money just enough to sponsor her if I spend with a tight hand. I would have enjoyed the travelling for 2-3 days but the money can now be put into better use to sponsor a child’s education and annual expenses – my child’s education. That very same day, I met the AIESECers organizing the travel and rugby event to cancel them. Somehow, cancelling these plans seemed so right. I could wait to send the money when I am in Singapore, but I am human enough to get worried about not having a source of income and might just back out.

Jane: Jane is 8 years old and one of 4 siblings. Her older brother Kennedy is in secondary school and stays at the slums with his grandmother and a lot of other children in a cloth house of 1 room. She has younger twin sisters. Their mother abandoned them when she discovered that she is HIV positive. Fortunately, Jane is negative (and it wouldn’t have mattered to me even if she was). Jane was molested by one of the guys staying in their house and had started sleeping in the garbage dump so that she is safe. It was urgent to send her to a primary boarding school which was far from her slums and that was done the day I showed interest in sponsoring her.

The journey: I decided to take a look at the school and meet her once before I sponsor her. So, I started my journey 6 am yesterday with Lucy Mwihaki (One of the women working at Living Positive whose 2 daughters study in the same school). After 5 hours of bus, matatu and motor bike travel, I finally reached the Maragua Summit School. Maragua is a small village and it was a big pain to be there being a Msungu. None of my vehicles were allowed to move for a long time because people were trying to touch or talk to me or just stare at me (Something which I can imagine happening to foreigners in a village in India). But I liked the location of the school – in the country side and one can see Mt. Kenya from the place. It was beautiful beyond words

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The meet-up: I met the Principal to tell her that I will be sponsoring Jane’s education. Jane was called along with other children from the slums in Ngong. The moment the Principal told Jane that I am her mummy (to make her understand that I will be her guardian), Jane went crazy. She wouldn’t leave my leg, or let go of my hand or get off my lap. She took me to her class, introduced me to her friends and posed with me in millions of pictures. As the exams were going on, I was allowed to be with her for only 10-15 mins. But those were some of the most precious minutes of my life. I left the school with a happiness which knew no bound and (I will be a bit vain) I was proud of myself. I have found a beautiful connection to this country – It is the country of my daughter.

Leia Mais…

Acceptance!!

"mostly I wish you to learn the lesson of Acceptance.. as only through Acceptance you will find the secret of existence and you will be happy in a crowd or sitting alone, and you will use all that happens in your life, your joys and your sorrows, to become a better person, so that even death at the end will be good, because it is part of the game"

- Kuki Gallmann

It is funny that the day I accepted the solitude in which I had found refuge and serenity turned out to be the turning point of my stay in Kenya. May be that is how our mind works - the moment we accept what life throws at us, we gain the power of choosing our attitude towards it. When there was nothing much to do in my world, becoming a part of the world of the people here was the most logical solution, something which I should have done from the very first day in Kenya.. But it is never too late.

I was told by most foreigners here that one week is what it takes to like the country and it took me 1 week to fall in love with Kenya. I am sure to return here sometime with friends and family for a vacation.. And to meet all the people who have now become a part of my world and who have so graciously accepted me into theirs.

Leia Mais…

Life's Lessons from Kenya!!

#1. Small things often make big things bearable.
Whether it is the stupid rooster with no sense of timing who starts waking you up at 2 am, the warm greetings from the Aunty at the Cyber cafe, the fire lit every evening or the pregnant cat who takes refuge at the house - small things can give you pleasure in an inexplicable way.

#2. There is nothing you cannot do.
Till last week I thought that I was incapable of sitting quietly. I needed to talk and talk and talk. In the past week, I have hardly spoken - just speaking the minimal required words to survive and I am managing quite well :) And for those who thought I can never sit calm and quiet - come and see me here.

#3. It is more important to be friends with the house keepers than the house owner for a comfortable stay.
Because they stay in the house all the time and know everything you need to know. Specially after the Canadians left today, I discovered that I am surviving well because I made friends with Grace and Elizabeth.

#4. Doing nothing is more painful than working from dawn to midnight.
One week of a laid back life and I am finding it almost impossible to contain my energy. The workaholic that I am known to be is dying to find some work. The fact that we have to be inside by 5 pm as it is dangerous after that and there is no internet at home is making it difficult to be productive.

#5. Books are true friends in a strange land.
After suffering a bit through #4, I have taken up on reading African Literature. Currently reading I dreamed of Africa y Kuki Gallmann gifted to me by Siddharth Bhaiya, I welcome all suggestions for rich African Literature.

#6. Home Sickness is a great way for self discovery.
Something which Wan Xin said to me really touched me and I found it so true - "Be in deep experience with your homesickness Shub. It itself is a wonderful self-discovery. =) And Shub, you are strong enough to take this experience, and at times you feel you don't, let yourself break. We are here to catch you! Love, Wan Xin "
But remember that #5 doesn't help in home sickness. You might end up reading the same line for over 5 hrs and still not understand it. Then resort to #7.

#7. Find a child to laugh with.
Whether it is a 2 months old or someone who has just entered his/her teen, children have a beautiful gift of taking you into their world, totally immerse you in their life till you forget about your own. Make stupid faces with a baby, talk about issues with a 10 year old or watch a dumb teenage movie with them, you will soon find a sense of happiness which adults unfortunately can't give.

#8. Be open to break your own rules.
Do you remember me saying that I don't even drink tea, coffee and soft drinks.,I am a healthy girl and drink Milk and juices only? Well, I stayed stubborn on that for 2 days till the damp and cold weather slapped me hard. Now I drink hot tea (called Chai here) atleast 2 times a day. I still don't enjoy it and will go back to my old self when I leave Kenya.

#9. No matter how hard you try, you will always be different from them - Just accept it.
I am known as the "Wasungu" here - "the different one usually used to refer a white person". When I walk on the streets, children point at me and shout Wasungu. Everybody shouts "How are you" at me without even understanding its meaning. Weeping children stop crying if I smile at them. Matatu drivers want me in their Matatus so that they can attract more passengers. At first I used to find it very annoying but now I have realized that it is better to accept it. After all, being the different one does give a power of its own.

#10. Be in touch with your Mum.
Mothers have a gift to making you feel comfortable with all the discomforts even when she is miles away. I look forward to her next call as soon as she hangs up. Her voice is a constant source of strength in everything I am undertaking.

Leia Mais…

End of the Beginning!!

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

-Winston Churchill

Finally, this is the last week of my university life (hopefully) and a life of a student in general.. The secure and most care-free time of life is about to end.. Now, I will have to face the world and worry about small little things.. Parents won't be an ATM anymore - if I get a job soon.. But it is exciting.. 

May be how Monica puts it in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. "Welcome to the real world. It sucks!! You will love it"

Leia Mais…

Stranger Friend!!

Have you ever had a 'stranger friend'? May be someone who travels in the same bus with you or eats at the same place as you do.. Someone who you have never talked to, don't even know name, might have smiled once in a while? Its strange how such a 'stranger friend' gives a sense of assurance to our minds..

Recently, while studying for my exams in the library for the past 2-3 days, I have made such a 'stranger friend' too.. She sits next to me everyday - we both sit at the the exact same place each day, smiles at me every morning at 9 am when I reach the library, and smiles again when I leave the library around 8:30 pm.. Thats all the regular interaction we have had, aside from the occasional whining about the noisy Exchange Students.. We also have some unspoken agreements - we look over each other's laptops and other belongings when one has to leave the room; if one of ours place has been taken by someone else we make room for the other one and general respect for each other..

Actually, I didn't realize her importance until she left the room this afternoon taking away all her belongings.. This was the first time she did that!! It was a moment of inexplicable relief when she came back.. And I did something which I had never done before - I talked to her, asked her how her exam was, which faculty, which department.. Its kind of interesting that sometimes we get so engrossed in our own worries, work and "issues" that we make them bigger than the people around us.. I usually avoid doing that with people I know, but today I pushed the limit to people I don't know as well.. In the world where virtual communication is taking over face-to-face communication so fast, smiles are just not good enough.. We need to create more "Human Moments" for keeping the sanity of our kinds intact..

Leia Mais…

Disco disco, Party party!!

Being an ardent fan of disco dancer, I have found my video of the year.. One of the most hilarious songs I have ever seen.. Read the subtitles to enjoy it! Everything is just so random! If I ever make a music video, it will be along these lines..

For the people preparing for exams, it is a good stress buster! Just dance like those guys and tensions will run out of the window..

Leia Mais…

Some Lasts!!

Oh, the feeling when you are walking out after giving the Final Year Project (FYP) presentation! If for nothing else, all the year-long stress for FYP is totally worth when you have that feeling.. With that, the academic projects, presentations, reports, thesis also came to an end - atleast for next 3-4 years.. The projects had been a major part of the semester for all the students in NUS for the past 4 years.. While some were interesting, some were night-mares.. I did well in some, not so much in some and hardly bothered about some others.. Hopefully, this will also be an end to all the technical projects of my life.. Even in university, I enjoyed only the non-technical projects - the technical ones were usually a big pain and to be honest, I hardly learnt anything from most of them..

Another aspect of my university life came to end yesterday - Working in Development Office as a Student Ambassador for the Annual Giving Team. I have been a part of the AG team since December 2007. Wow, that has been really long. I did take a break every now and then but I used to go back.. I loved working there most of the times - opportunity to talk to alumni, building bonds with other students, supervisors. I was introduced to Mr. Harlan McMurray through the AG team only, and he has been a constant support in my university life.

I believe the feeling of this being the last time for a number of things has still not sunk in and I don't know if it ever will. There is also an excitement about what next, what does life hold for me, will I be able to live life like I have always dreamt or will I be under constant trial.. Still very unsure about the future but I guess I should stand by the belief - "If you get what you want, it is God's blessing! If you don't, then it is God's will and God's will is always better than our own want."

Leia Mais…

The Stranger who cares!!

Each small act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of the good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it is passed, until simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away.

~ Unknown Author (Copied from Rachit's email sign off)

There are so many people who we don't know, have never met and may not even be aware of their existence who make a difference in our lives - sometimes big, sometimes small. One such person who every graduating student from Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE) Department would know of is Ms. Susan A. Silva - Undergraduate Final year and project matters responsible in the ECE department.

Susan has been taking care of our final year project (FYP) details, making sure that we all file for graduation, everyone is able to graduate and millions of other graduating matters. Even though that might be her job description, she has a special touch of care in all the matters. Where a lot of times we face bureaucracy issues, Susan makes sure that the final year students are free from handling all these issues. From sending emails to make sure that we go collect keys before our FYP presentation, that we submit the FYP thesis on time to making sure that we don't fail the degree requirements and fail to graduate, Susan handles it all.

I actually have to thank her personally. The online degree requirement check was showing some problems with my iLEAD modules, thus failing me to graduate on time and that too without the minor. However, with Susan's help that problem is now solved. Unlike most other people, Susan didn't ask me even once to come down to the office. Her email conversations were clear, facilitating easy communication because of which the problem was solved easily and in a very short time.

I would like to thank her on behalf of all graduating ECE students for taking so much pain for us and solving our matters and to let her know that her help is highly appreciated. 

Leia Mais…

Increasing Excitement!!

“I learned that the richness of life is found in adventure. . . . It develops self-reliance and independence. Life then teems with excitement. There is stagnation only in security.” - William Orville Douglas

Its exactly 4 weeks before I leave for Africa which means that I need to start taking my Malaria prevention pills from today! Wow!! Finally taking pills and all.. Thankfully, all the vaccination shots are done and I survived them :)

The excitement is on a constant increase nowadays. I have been introduced to some people in Kenya and I can already relate to what everybody has been telling me about the warmth of the people there. Anyone and everyone who has ever gone to Africa tells me that I am going to have an experience of a lifetime, something that I will cherish forever..

I particularly liked Jovin's response - "shub, here's why you should NOT go to africa!

- you will me mesmerized! you would not want to return to the lion city, after you'd have courted the real lions!
- you will see the soccer talents, take up women's soccer, and show them how you can juggle with many balls at once
- last but not the least, the wonderful people you'd meet would break your stereotypes on hospitality and love and seduction!

you want not be a victim of all this in your one and only youth, do you?"

Makes me want to leave right away.. Sharing a video which Muti (a Kenyan friend of mine) shared with me to introduce magical Kenya..

Leia Mais…

Finding your Passion!!

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.

-T. Alan Armstrong

When I look around, I see so many people living life out of habit. They wake up every morning because thats what they have been doing, they go to work because they have to, they work and come back. What a waste of the human ability - doing something because you have to, because thats what most of the people do.

Being at the crossroads of my life when I am about to choose what I am supposed to do for a living, the most important thing which I am looking for is something which I love to do. I don't want to work just for money/status, these are for the world.. I want to work for job satisfaction, something which will be totally mine and no one can take it from me. Thankfully, I have the internship in Kenya to keep me going, to make me have something to really look forward to in my life.

Steve Jobs said, "I always ask myself the question - "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." Something which I think is very true.

I have always loved working for AIESEC and that always kept me going. I loved my iLEAD programme and it was one of the most amazing experiences I have had. And  when I do something which I am not very passionate about, time becomes so slow.

Your passion does not need to be a long term passion like I want to change the world. It can be a simple short term passion like I want to spend some time with HIV positive people in Africa, and when you are living that passion, find something you are passionate about for the next step in your journey.

If you really really want to live life and not just survive, it is essential to find your passion. Ask yourself everyday, "What is it that I want to do?" If you get the same answer for a long time, you have found your passion.. So, lets promise ourselves today to live life, not just survive it!!

Leia Mais…

This time, last week!!

We do not remember days; we remember moments. -Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand

Because there are some moments which never leave you, and these are the moments which make Life BEAUTIFUL!!

Leia Mais…

Phew!!

Finally done with my Final Year Project (FYP) thesis and technical paper.. Still a long way to go (precisely 5 weeks) before I get done with university but a big stress is off my head.. A grilling experience it was in the past week - the whole FYP work.

5 weeks of Uni and 7 weeks of Kenya, I have no idea where life will take me after that.. I hate this period of uncertainty, though I know that a couple of months down the road, I will laugh at how foolish I was to be so stressed up.. Fortunately, I have the trip to Kenya to look forward to.

This whole experience of uncertainty has made me get to know myself slightly better. I hate uncertainties like most people but these uncertainties give me the push to think out of the box or out of place as I would like to call it. I am still very selective about the kind of job I want to start my career with and I am not sure when that will break - when I will join the crowd and accept high-paying jobs with minimal job satisfaction and no learning.

Two important things which I look for in a job are how much will I be allowed to contribute and what are the opportunities of interacting with people from all over the world. Will my opinion be considered or will I just be a highly paid clerk who is delegated work everyday? Will I get to make a difference to the company and to the world in general? Will I be proud to tell what I do in my job or just be satisfied that I am earning? Will I travel around meeting people or just face my computer every single day? Will I be working in an enjoyable and healthy work environment or just become numb to all emotions when it comes to work?

I don't know what life holds for me! I can just take action and wait..

Leia Mais…

Need Motivation!!

"Sure I am that this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond my endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us."

-Winston Churchill

With a week left for the submission of FYP thesis and slow progress, I really need some strong motivation to do the task. I hope victory will not be denied us. Work work work!!

Leia Mais…

Woman!!

- courtesy Nabeel

Leia Mais…

A Tribute!!

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us, “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.

-Albert Einstein

If I can think of a group of people who have achieved this liberation, it will be the Annual Giving Campaign donors. Annual Giving Campaign is an annual appeal by NUS to its alumni to help support the students who are facing financial difficulties. The donors are the people who have made a contribution to the campaign and helped in providing education to the people who are deserving.

I had the privilege of meeting some of the donors today at the AG Donor appreciation tea and I think that words will not be able to do justice to the impact which they are creating in the society. It is not only about the direct monetary help which the students get, it is also about the spirit of giving which they instill in the youth through their example and about keeping our faith in the inherent goodness of human beings.

Though I wasn't able to meet all the donors, I say a BIG THANK YOU to all of them. I am about to graduate from the university soon, and their example makes me want to contribute to the cause as well. It is something which I will definitely do, in my own capacity and make sure that feeling of paying it forward which has been instilled in us, doesn't go off. 

Leia Mais…

You can do it!!

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They are not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

— Apple Computer Inc.

It is not always necessary that your ideas of creating a positive change will be understood or appreciated. The most important thing is not to let self-doubt kill you.. People usually laugh at big ideas - if you have seen them, be happy that you are courageous enough to see them. If you can implement them, a big kudos.. You might succeed or not, but at least you tried.

If you think that you need the whole world to support you, always remember this:

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

- Margaret Mead

Believe in yourself, stand up for your belief, and go change the world! You can do it!!

If you are ever in doubt, watch this video which very beautifully describes how 1 person or small group of people can bring about a revolution. (I always manage to get goosebumps while seeing this video)

Leia Mais…

Getting close to the dream!!

The feeling of being very close to living your dream is great, and greater is the feeling of achievement when you have had to cross innumerable hurdles to live that dream. Those who know me, know what exactly I am talking about.

In August 2008, I decided that before I start working full time, I will go for a development traineeship to Africa.. There were numerous hurdles then, the biggest ones being - finances, getting the support of my family and keeping the motivation till I get to the end. I remember having zillions of conversations with my friends throughout this phase and now I am very close to achieving this dream.

       

I have got an internship in a small village located north of Nairobi, Kenya. It is called the Living Positive program. Will be in Kenya from 10th May to 28th June. Just good enough for me to be back in Singapore for my graduation ceremony!

Leia Mais…

Strength of Character!!

A lot of people believe that strength of character means to avoid being in situations where you might fall weak or give in to a temptation. Personally, I don't believe in it. The strength of character is not to lock yourself in a room where there are no temptations and project that you are a strong person. Being strong means to stand in between all the temptations and then say 'NO' to them, then stick to what you really believe in.

Here, I am not talking about doing the right thing or the wrong one. I do not believe in right or wrong. There is no absolute right or wrong. These are very subjective terms based on people's perceptions and often used to justify their actions. People just do what they believe in and label that as the right action.

I heard/read somewhere that "Strength of character is doing the right thing when no one is watching over". I will like to change it a bit. For me, "Strength of character is doing what you believe in, when no one is watching. It is also doing what you believe in, when the whole world thinks that you should do otherwise" And that is the difficult part specially when your loved ones are against your belief.

This strength is not something you are born with, it is what you develop over time. Thats why it becomes even more important to be out in these temptations, to be a part of the realities of life rather than being a silent spectator from a distance. Our conscience is the source of this strength. It stops us from giving into temptations, and each time we give into the temptation, the volume of the conscience goes down until the time when it becomes mute. And that is when we don't care what we do, we don't remember what we believe in. We get haunted by our own thoughts, actions, words..

I know that this strength may cost a lot of things a lot of times, sometimes everything you have but it is worth it.. Coz then you are not haunted by yourself. You can look in the mirror and smile and have the most peaceful sleep in the world.

Leia Mais…