45 lessons from a 90 year old!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio. Forwarded by an acquaintance

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
 45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Leia Mais…

Control Game!!

Why do relationships/dating turn into a control game? "I will sms him only 3 days later, I can't call her now or she will gain control.." One of my friends even has a rule in her relationship of a couple of years to call her boyfriend only after he has called her 3 times - no matter how much she wants to talk to him, she wants to stay in control.

Isn't it ironic that we are playing manipulative mind games with the one person with whom we are supposed to be closest to, to let our real self be out with. If there is no self expression in the relationship then is it really worth it? Why can't one just drop a sms with just a smiley in the middle of the day to the guy one is dating for the fear of exposing one's vulnerability? 

Let go of the control.. Be the one who is vulnerable because then you experience the most beautiful aspect of being with someone - security in all circumstances. And that is the real control..

Leia Mais…

To Each His Own!!

I always wonder why do people want others to be like them, to enjoy what they enjoy, do things like they do and think like they think. That's why we end up liking people who are like us or are like who we want ourselves to be. A person who drinks alcohol would like the others to join, bosses like their employees to behave like them. I like my sister to be like me :P

Aren't we all meant to be different? If so, then why are the people who are different usually not very welcome anywhere. Why are they always bitched about? I have suffered from being asked to blend in too and most importantly, I have been guilty of judging people who are different. We live in a world where there are no absolutes. Everything is subjective - there is no right or wrong. Who gives us the right to decide that we are right and the other person is wrong.

So many times when we end up judging people, we don't take into account so many factors - the background, the past, the family, the education.. Nothing is constant for everyone in the world, except for the fact that we are all living. We all have different set of conditions, even though they might differ very slightly. Hence, the comparison doesn't make any sense. May be if we had the same conditions like the other person, we would have been exactly like that person. So lets give people the benefit of doubt and accept them as they are!!

Leia Mais…

Stranger Friend!!

Have you ever had a 'stranger friend'? May be someone who travels in the same bus with you or eats at the same place as you do.. Someone who you have never talked to, don't even know name, might have smiled once in a while? Its strange how such a 'stranger friend' gives a sense of assurance to our minds..

Recently, while studying for my exams in the library for the past 2-3 days, I have made such a 'stranger friend' too.. She sits next to me everyday - we both sit at the the exact same place each day, smiles at me every morning at 9 am when I reach the library, and smiles again when I leave the library around 8:30 pm.. Thats all the regular interaction we have had, aside from the occasional whining about the noisy Exchange Students.. We also have some unspoken agreements - we look over each other's laptops and other belongings when one has to leave the room; if one of ours place has been taken by someone else we make room for the other one and general respect for each other..

Actually, I didn't realize her importance until she left the room this afternoon taking away all her belongings.. This was the first time she did that!! It was a moment of inexplicable relief when she came back.. And I did something which I had never done before - I talked to her, asked her how her exam was, which faculty, which department.. Its kind of interesting that sometimes we get so engrossed in our own worries, work and "issues" that we make them bigger than the people around us.. I usually avoid doing that with people I know, but today I pushed the limit to people I don't know as well.. In the world where virtual communication is taking over face-to-face communication so fast, smiles are just not good enough.. We need to create more "Human Moments" for keeping the sanity of our kinds intact..

Leia Mais…

The Stranger who cares!!

Each small act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of the good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it is passed, until simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away.

~ Unknown Author (Copied from Rachit's email sign off)

There are so many people who we don't know, have never met and may not even be aware of their existence who make a difference in our lives - sometimes big, sometimes small. One such person who every graduating student from Electrical and Computer Engineering (ECE) Department would know of is Ms. Susan A. Silva - Undergraduate Final year and project matters responsible in the ECE department.

Susan has been taking care of our final year project (FYP) details, making sure that we all file for graduation, everyone is able to graduate and millions of other graduating matters. Even though that might be her job description, she has a special touch of care in all the matters. Where a lot of times we face bureaucracy issues, Susan makes sure that the final year students are free from handling all these issues. From sending emails to make sure that we go collect keys before our FYP presentation, that we submit the FYP thesis on time to making sure that we don't fail the degree requirements and fail to graduate, Susan handles it all.

I actually have to thank her personally. The online degree requirement check was showing some problems with my iLEAD modules, thus failing me to graduate on time and that too without the minor. However, with Susan's help that problem is now solved. Unlike most other people, Susan didn't ask me even once to come down to the office. Her email conversations were clear, facilitating easy communication because of which the problem was solved easily and in a very short time.

I would like to thank her on behalf of all graduating ECE students for taking so much pain for us and solving our matters and to let her know that her help is highly appreciated. 

Leia Mais…

Finding your Passion!!

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.

-T. Alan Armstrong

When I look around, I see so many people living life out of habit. They wake up every morning because thats what they have been doing, they go to work because they have to, they work and come back. What a waste of the human ability - doing something because you have to, because thats what most of the people do.

Being at the crossroads of my life when I am about to choose what I am supposed to do for a living, the most important thing which I am looking for is something which I love to do. I don't want to work just for money/status, these are for the world.. I want to work for job satisfaction, something which will be totally mine and no one can take it from me. Thankfully, I have the internship in Kenya to keep me going, to make me have something to really look forward to in my life.

Steve Jobs said, "I always ask myself the question - "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." Something which I think is very true.

I have always loved working for AIESEC and that always kept me going. I loved my iLEAD programme and it was one of the most amazing experiences I have had. And  when I do something which I am not very passionate about, time becomes so slow.

Your passion does not need to be a long term passion like I want to change the world. It can be a simple short term passion like I want to spend some time with HIV positive people in Africa, and when you are living that passion, find something you are passionate about for the next step in your journey.

If you really really want to live life and not just survive, it is essential to find your passion. Ask yourself everyday, "What is it that I want to do?" If you get the same answer for a long time, you have found your passion.. So, lets promise ourselves today to live life, not just survive it!!

Leia Mais…

Being Fulfilled!!

Why is it that somethings which we really want in life, we don't get them? But then, when was Life about getting what you want.. In true sense, Life is about getting what you want sometimes and not getting what you want most of the times. But what most of us do is to think that we will be happy when we get what we want, life will be good if we get what we want and keep on waiting for eternity to be happy, to be fulfilled.

Fulfillment is not about getting what we want, its about dealing with Life and whatever it throws in and creating happiness for us moment by moment. The critical question here is - How? How do we deal with whatever life throws in, with not getting what we want?

If you are someone like me who would not do anything until unless you choose to do it, then choose what life throws in powerfully. Accept it as your own. Making the choice of accepting a particular fact of life gives us the immense satisfaction of being in control of our life. After having chosen the fact, create for yourself the outcome of the issue you are dealing with. How do YOU want things to shape up? And just commit yourself whole-heartedly. 

I think a lot of us are successful in reaching this stage. But what most of us miss out is to enroll other people involved in the issue in what your commitment is. We, Humans, cannot live as an island. We are a constant function of the people around us. And when the issue involves other people, it is very important to enroll them in our commitment and then getting their support in taking action according to the commitment. And take responsibility for the consequence of each action we take because actions always produce consequences. 

This is a path I use for being fulfilled in the face of issues and problems in life.

Leia Mais…

Something called 'AIESEC'

Disclaimer: This post is more like a post from me to me.. You might not enjoy it.. So I am not responsible for how you feel after reading it.. Also, if you have decided to read it further, @ is the short form of AIESEC..

It was August 2006 when I joined @ as an organization which had transformed Vijit as a person.. But soon enough I realized that it is not just an organization to me.. @ is friendship.. @ is family.. @ is work.. @ is passion.. @ is everything I have done in the past 3 years.. I am a full timer @er and a part time student..

December last year after NLDS (National Leadership Development Seminar) I burnt out.. I decided that was enough for me.. That was all I had to do with @.. And I went home, rather I ran home.. For the first time, I ran away from something.. Somewhere since then, I had the urge of joining back but I was caught up with internship, other iLEAD requirements, 2 taxing modules and friends going through some tough times..

Even though I was not active in @, @ was very much active in me.. Everyone in my office knows about @.. @ usually gets the credit if I do something well, or when I can work for hrs at stretch without complaining.. But with every mention, there was a strong sense of guilt.. Last year a lot of shit happened and I cleared up the mess.. Shit happened coz of loads of external factors, but it really hurt me when people who didn't have the courage to clear the mess, blamed me just cause I had the courage of going to clear it up.. Having successfully organized 2 big conference in an interval of 3 months with a mountain of shit had burnt me down.. I decided I need a break..

Finally I decided that today I will go to it.. Vijit always tells me that @ is just a miniaturization of world.. There are good things and there are bad things.. What you do in @ pretty much reflects what you do in life and defines who you are as a person.. I didn't want to be a quitter in real life or in @.. So, I finally decided that I am going back..

Some events happened this week which led to the final decision.. I went to Joanne to collect my Visa letter for the US and she asked me about my internship experience.. I shared with her all the amazing things I am learning, the great people I am meeting.. And she asked me questions like: don't you get burnt out with school and internship? don't you feel left out with the employees? you deal with people all around the world, don't feel awkward? My answer was.. No, I have done all this in @.. and I told her about my experience in @ for more than an hr..

Co-incidentally I met my 0708 @ team that very day.. I realized what I was doing to myself.. These are friendships I have formed because of @.. I thought of Sharon, Dei, Diana, Shin and all the amazing people I have met in @.. People from Afghanistan, Cote De 'Voire, Guatemala, Czech Republic, Iran.. People from 110 countries in the world.. I thought of all the big corporate guys who know me because of @..

I thought of all the all-nighters I have hit doing @ work, staying over in the @ office, eating time-outs for breakfast, lunch, dinner while preparing for NLDS.. I thought of all the emails I have got from members all over the world thanking me for changing their lives forever, for inspiring them.. If you have ever been thanked for changing someone's life for the better, you would exactly know what I mean..

I thought of all the things I have achieved in life.. Getting famous in NUS is a big thing.. I am famous as AIESEC girl.. I thought of my trips to Hyderabad, Penang, Turkey, Brazil for AIESEC conferences.. The craziness in the conferences where we would never be tired of dancing, partying, attending sessions and most importantly planning and strategizing for the coming term..

I thought of how I got the inspiration of going to Africa through @.. I know I am surrounded by the people who not only want to do something for the world but are doing it at an age where people are engaged in indulgence.. When people are wondering about AIDS, these people go down to Africa to educate people about AIDS and work with people who have AIDS.. They go to India and fight for child rights.. When the world is complaining about the recession, they come up with Finance projects to help the world..

I thought of all the crazy things I have done in @, the trainee receptions, the airport pick ups, the long trainings and even longer meetings.. @ is very much responsible for lots of things which make me.. I can't leave it.. I have to give my 100% to it.. and I am back with renewed energy..

While I was going to the office, I was nervous.. I was meeting my team after a long time.. Didn't know how they will take everything.. But they were all so eager to help me get back.. And I remembered what Houston Spencer (Alcatel Lucent) told us.. One thing which is common in all @ers is that they are very supportive in bringing the best in others, their sole purpose is to help people meet their best side.. It is a rare thing and if you can maintain it, the world will be lot better.. I saw that happening today.. Thank you guys..

Leia Mais…

Random thoughts!!

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be..

Peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything — they are just able to make the best of everything they have.

The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,
a driver called Almighty God,
you will make it to a place called Success.

Formality is when you need to do something, and not when you want to do it.

Leia Mais…

Strength of Character!!

A lot of people believe that strength of character means to avoid being in situations where you might fall weak or give in to a temptation. Personally, I don't believe in it. The strength of character is not to lock yourself in a room where there are no temptations and project that you are a strong person. Being strong means to stand in between all the temptations and then say 'NO' to them, then stick to what you really believe in.

Here, I am not talking about doing the right thing or the wrong one. I do not believe in right or wrong. There is no absolute right or wrong. These are very subjective terms based on people's perceptions and often used to justify their actions. People just do what they believe in and label that as the right action.

I heard/read somewhere that "Strength of character is doing the right thing when no one is watching over". I will like to change it a bit. For me, "Strength of character is doing what you believe in, when no one is watching. It is also doing what you believe in, when the whole world thinks that you should do otherwise" And that is the difficult part specially when your loved ones are against your belief.

This strength is not something you are born with, it is what you develop over time. Thats why it becomes even more important to be out in these temptations, to be a part of the realities of life rather than being a silent spectator from a distance. Our conscience is the source of this strength. It stops us from giving into temptations, and each time we give into the temptation, the volume of the conscience goes down until the time when it becomes mute. And that is when we don't care what we do, we don't remember what we believe in. We get haunted by our own thoughts, actions, words..

I know that this strength may cost a lot of things a lot of times, sometimes everything you have but it is worth it.. Coz then you are not haunted by yourself. You can look in the mirror and smile and have the most peaceful sleep in the world.

Leia Mais…

Intelligent... are we?

I have finished reading the Kite Runner. Khaled Hosseini has done some justice to the children of Afghanistan in this emotionally breathtaking novel of his. Afghanistan has a lot of children but very little childhood! And he has presented this view in the most simple words possible.. A rare quality found in writers..

But this post is not about 'The Kite Runner' or Khaled Hosseini or Afghanistan. Its about a conversation I had a couple of hours back which indeed triggered a series of conversations inside my head. I was discussing about how the entire country (Afghanistan) has been devastated because of the whims and fancies of few - Soviet/US army or Taliban, we would never know! The irony of our times is that we are so well informed about the world and yet, so much in oblivion - seeing things through the eyes of the media. Never knowing what might be true!

She made a casual comment - 'You know Shub, we never know! People in today's world are just too intelligent. We will never know what is the real power/person behind it and what the real motive is...' I couldn't follow the remaining part. A separate conversation has started in my head!

Intelligent.. are they? To me they appeared to be the most stupid people ever born in this world. So much so that I feel they were born as humans by mistake, they were supposed to be some animal.

Is taking away love from the world (for whatever real motive was) intelligent?
Is taking away children's childhood intelligent?

Sometimes, I feel the older we get, the more stupid we become, and we feel we are becoming wise! When we are young, we fight over things worth fighting for, things that last for eternity. We fight for our parents' love, we eat with our servant's children, we don't hesitate in showing our love to strangers, we smile, we laugh!

And then we grow up! We become wise. We start fighting for things which we ourselves know won't last for long - money, religion, what inch of land is my country...

Are we actually becoming intelligent or becoming more and more stupid in the garb of maturity and wisdom? Some questions have no answer but they need to be posed.. These questions make us human again! And I think thats what human race is lacking - people with humanity. Will this vicious cycle ever break? I have no answer. Period.

Leia Mais…

Passion and The Future!

Today, I realized the power of my life and the difference I can make to the world, to the future. Being present in the plenary of International Congress means that I have the brains, the talent, the skills, the passion to make a positive impact in society and make up the top 2% of the 32,000 members present in the AIESEC network. This gives me immense influence, even beyond my realization, but only for one year. I have 2 options now. To have a good impact in this 1 year or to have an unbelievable impact on the future? I can celebrate the 60 years of AIESEC’s history or work hard to make history which impacts the next 60 years of AIESEC and the world in general. If I believe in anything, I need to be BOLD. If I don’t know what I can do to change the world, I still should be BOLD anyways.

If I am lucky enough, I have 60 more years to live. Do I have a dream to change the world? What am I doing this year to achieve my dream? And now I ask you, do you have a dream to change the world, to make a difference? What are you doing to achieve it?

“If your dreams are not scary,
they are not big enough”

The very reason that I am sitting in International Congress is because I am afflicted by the passion which runs through the entire organization. But is this passion becoming my comfort zone?

“Passion is scary only when its right”

To experience that observe a person who is head over heels with love, the passion is terrifying, but its right coz Love is always right. Is my passion of creating a positive impact in society scary?

What difference will I make when its time for me to move on in AIESEC?
What difference will I make in the world when I am done with life.

Life is a gamble.
In the end, death always wins.
But what are you doing in the present to impact the future?
Living in fear always or being BOLD and creating the impact?

Its not about creating Your Future, but its about creating THE FUTURE!

Leia Mais…

APGN Pre-meeting

Last year pre-meeting played a big role in deciding the direction of my IC XP, in instilling me with the high spirits that lasted through IC and in making some wonderful friends, so this year I was really looking forward to it. I just love the energy AP creates as a GN and makes sure that every member of the AP family gets immersed into this energy. The roll calls it showcases, the warmth it emits and the diversity it unites inspires me (and I am sure a lot of other people as well) and motivates me for giving my 100% to this GN and whatever I do in life. Another important aspect of Pre-meet which I simply love is the opportunity to talk about the hard-core AIESEC stuff with AIESECers from all the countries (at least most of them turn up for the pre-meet).

The most inspiring part of this year’s pre-meeting was the session on Talent Management run by Daz, the Talent Management Unit (TMU) Chair, exclusively for the VP Talent Management and Local Committee Presidents of the AP region. Those who know about my work life will definitely know that my topmost priority for this year’s IC was to develop a comprehensive Tracking template with quantitative and qualitative tracking. This session gave me very cool ideas about the tracking template and a lot of other things to motivate me to work harder. But the way the session was run by Daz really inspired and touched me through and through. I reached a new level of passion which I have never experienced before. I always thought that my passion for AIESEC is already at the maximum level possible, but I would say that this session proved me wrong.

Last year, I was thinking of heading for the future after my LCP term and go for the NOC programme of NUS. I remember very clearly that during Pre-meeting, something struck me and I decided that I will run for Vice President Talent Management. And here I am, Vice President Talent Management AIESEC Singapore 08/09. A similar thing happened to me this year during the pre-meeting. I thought that I will not be going to the exchange part of the AIESEC XP. The pre-meeting was very much focused on exchange and they presented Vijit Bhaiya’s case study. There I saw how my brother is not only impacting his life but also the lives of so many different people in both his internships in Poland and Austria. How people from all the countries come and ask me if I am Vijit’s sister! And ask if I am going to have the same kind of wholesome AIESEC XP. And this inspired me to finally decide that I will be going for an internship, even if its only DT for a couple of months. I will complete my AIESEC XP because that not only impacts my life but the lives of so many different people.

So with renewed energy and passion, I thought that I was prepared to experience AIESEC International Congress 2008 (Responsible Youth. Sustainable Future)

Leia Mais…

Life and How to Survive it!

I was just reading Sharon's blog and found this amazing Convocation speech at the NTU Convocation 2008.

Life and How To Survive It!!

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy.

Leia Mais…

Perplexity in Friendship!

A true friend accepts you the way you are! But aren't true friends supposed to be your best critics?? Lately this has been a great cause of perplexity in my life :P
What is the fine line which describes when a friend is being your critic and when that person is trying to find someone else in you?? The thing is your old friends always fall in the former category... They have already become quite used to your ways, have accepted you just as you are, and the rare times when they give you some suggestions to improve, they are just being your critics...
But the question here is when you are in the process of knowing a new person to be friends... Here comes the difficult dilemma of that person finding it difficult to accept you as you are or providing an objective opinion of a well wisher for your genuine improvement! What do you do in such situation?? Run away from that person or try to see the genuine concern that person has...
But then the next question is that if you choose the latter, how to do it?
May be consulting your old friends is a good idea... Now if your old friends disagree with the opinion of the new friend, then do you think that your old friends are too used to you or do you think your new friend is trying to find someone else in you?? And in case you choose the latter, what do you do??

Confusing... isn't it?? Answers anyone?? I am perplexed :P

Leia Mais…

Wah Taj!!

Bart Simpson has taken the lead to present her views about the Taj Mahal being one of the seven wonders... Now let me present my views from the perspective of a Taj Nagari Vasi (person from the City of the Taj)... Ok, may be while reading the post you might feel that staying in Singapore has made me "un"patriotric... but then it depends on how you define patriotism.... Patriotism is something like Bravery... For some, a person who has the courage to kill himself (commit suicide) is brave [fair enough! you need courage to kill yourself] while for some the one who faces life is brave.... I prefer the latter... Same goes for Patriotism... For some the person who speaks well of his country is Patriotic.... But for me Patriotism means accepting the shortcomings of the country and then working to free the country from these....

Again, as Bart mentioned, India is known primarily for the Taj and Kashmir, and I feel proud while introducing myself as a citizen of the City of Taj Mahal (Agra)... I am probably among the most happy people from this news and I invited every Tom, Dick and Harry I met to visit the Taj and stay at my place... (Psst psst.... it also includes some very good friends like Juliana and Won Jang, good news being that I'll probably meet Won Jang.... Hurrah!!!) But then, I remember the state of the places around the Taj.... Do I really want people to see that??

It is all shitty, tacky, smelly.... so much so that I (living only 15 km away from the Taj) find it really hard to motivate myself to visit it.... The Taj is indeed a marvellous monument but it is tarnishing... Yellowing... and what about the river Yamuna which flows right behind it... The water there is worse than sewerage water... What are we doing about it??

Just proclaiming that I am from the City of the Taj doesn't mean that I am patriotic.... There are so many children in that City of the Taj who don't even know that their city is one of the most renowned places in the world.... For them life is a constant struggle for survival... What are we doing about it??

And can you guess that what will happen now??
Here is a much underestimated crookedness which will take place... The MP (Member of Parliament) of Agra will appeal for a huge sum of money to maintain the Taj Mahal and the nearby places....By huge I mean, HUGE......

And then, 10% of it will be used to do some temporary maintenance (To last till his term gets over)... The remaining 90%..... ahem ahem ahem.... The result being that the money allocated for the welfare of the people (out of which again only 10% would have been used) went to maintain the Taj or rather unmaintain the Taj...

Do you want to know why the MP would go only for a temporary maintainence??
So, that during his term the Taj looks maintained and in his successor's term...well, let me not use the word I intended to... This will then be used as a point in the next election...

Complicated?? Nah.... This is the most common tactic in Agra Elections...

So, now tell me, what shall I feel about the Taj being one of the seven wonders of the world??
Proud to be from the city or worried about the political game which will be played using Taj's name??

Leia Mais…

Militants or Extremists, Terrorists or Fighters!!!!

I was scrolling through a news site (BBC) where they reported about the comments of the HAMAS Militants. Almost instantly I was reminded of the way the Indian Freedom Fighters were termed as militants by the British and perhaps, the rest of the world... And the question which has always been disturbing me started squeezing the grey cells of my brain again!!! Who are they actually... My discussion is restricted not only to the Hamas but to the "Terrorists" on the whole... Are they actually the Terrorists or are they Freedom Fighters... Freeing themselves from poverty, illiteracy, and most importantly freeing themselves from FEAR....


Now, I personally don't agree that you should kill innocent people for freeing yourself from FEAR... But weren't at some point of time these people victims of some atrocity by the PEACE ENVOYS of the world...


Saddam Hussain was executed for being an authoritarian.... Many of us justified his execution just as the British might have justified Bhagat Singh's execution (Bhagat Singh was an extremist freedom fighter of India and prayed by people even till now...) I am not saying that they are same in any respect but wasn't Saddam treated as God by many Iraqis... He was not perfect but then who is?? And I shall not go into te details of what happened and is happening to Iraq when Saddam left it.... Who knows the inside story?? Is the Media objective enough? Bah...

Lets go to the Kashmir Issue... To Indians there is a region called Pakistan Occupied Kashmir (PoK) and for Pakistanis there is a region called India Occupied Kashmir (IoK) and there are I-don't-know-how many-groups (so called militant groups) fighting for Azad Kashmir (Free Kashmir)... Haaa- Kashmir, known as the paradise on the Earth, is now a mere battleground.. But one inevitable result of all this will be that there will be more violence, more people will fight to have a "Better" Kashmir... Who is responsible for the birth of such violent people??

Does Terrorism comprise only those acts of violence which have a negative effect on the US?? But what about those acts which are caused by the US itself?? Shouldn't the Iraq War be called a Terrorist attack by the US?? I am not attacking even the US here... They might have had their reasons which I may not understand.. But why so many people had to be killed?? Everyday you come across the name of a new group fighting for something.... Why?? Have we tried to sit with them and find the root of their behaviour?? May be they are just looking for some attention and love and are unable to comprehend their feelings... May be their causes are noble but they don't know the Best ways of reaching their goal... May be they actually are freedom fighters but we are being misguided by the media and the people around us...

I remember, when I was young, people used to tell me that the Muslims are not good people, they are all terrorists... Today, I say with utmost pride that only two guys who are very close to me are Muslims, and I just love both of them... Had I lived with the feeling which was tried to be evolved in me, I would have been an anti-muslim?? And I come from the so-called educated well-to-do class... Then what about those children who have been denied even the basic necessities of life and the reason given to them is a certain group of people... Isn't their hatred for that group of people justified?? Isn't their fight for creating a prosperous world for their children justified??

I read a story where a Kashmir girl (about 12 years old) was raped by a Hindu Pandit... 5-6 years later she was ready to be a human bomb and kill a large number of Hindus.... I agree that her revenge took away lives of several innocent people but isn't the lust of the Pandit the root cause of these deaths... Had he not done what he did, perhaps Kashmir would have had a capable doctor, socialist or a perfect home maker....

The sole purpose of my writing this blog is to see that are the present day terrorists actually terrorists or just fighters!! The solution here is not to execute the present terrorists only to give birth to terrorists... For every one terrorist we kill today, 10 more might be born... The solution is to stop the birth of new terrorists!!! NOOOOO..... Please don't start killing the women now... Just make sure that the people get the basic necessities of life and justice if anything wrong has been done to them.... Politicians should take care of even those people who are not a major part of their vote banks... If each one of us pledges that we will take care of atleast one helpless person, we really won't have any problem... Come on guys!!! Just one less fortunate person.... You guys can do it....

If every family decides to adopt a less fortunate child, there won't be any more terrorists taking birth.... Take a pledge to adopt a less fortunate child, to make sure he/she gets educated, gets a lot of love, sees the beautiful side of the world!! What are you waiting for?? Just one child and you'll make an enormous difference... For that matter even save a lot of lives..... Spread your love and you will see how happy you become....

"A simple solution to a very complex problem"

Leia Mais…