The choice between giving my all and giving up!!

Have you ever thought of quitting something - school, a job, a relationship, a society? I am sure all of us have thought of quitting something or the other at some point of our lives.. Sometimes it might be for a simple reason of being bored and the quest of finding something better, however, more often than not - it is from the fear of failing. People prefer to quit rather than fail.

Having had a few downs in one day, I was going to quit my goal yesterday, something for which I have been working since early this year and very rigorously since past couple of months. I was sure of my success until yesterday when I had a few set backs and I thought - "This isn't working, I don't think I have the energy anymore" Result - I had fever this morning and no will to go to work.

I just spent the day to choose between giving my everything in the next 20 days for what I have been working for, or just give it up. In the end, I chose the former. I will be disappointed if I fail but I will not be able to face myself if I give up. So here I am, all ready to be back in the game after a short break!!

Leia Mais…

Control Game!!

Why do relationships/dating turn into a control game? "I will sms him only 3 days later, I can't call her now or she will gain control.." One of my friends even has a rule in her relationship of a couple of years to call her boyfriend only after he has called her 3 times - no matter how much she wants to talk to him, she wants to stay in control.

Isn't it ironic that we are playing manipulative mind games with the one person with whom we are supposed to be closest to, to let our real self be out with. If there is no self expression in the relationship then is it really worth it? Why can't one just drop a sms with just a smiley in the middle of the day to the guy one is dating for the fear of exposing one's vulnerability? 

Let go of the control.. Be the one who is vulnerable because then you experience the most beautiful aspect of being with someone - security in all circumstances. And that is the real control..

Leia Mais…

A couple of steps ahead!!

Earlier I used to have a section on my blog which stated my goals - usually about learning something new. I removed that section a few months back as I had made no progress whatsoever in achieving them for the past 4 years, except of course in the goal of visiting 30 countries by the age of 30 (Touching down on my 10th one in 2 days' time)

In the last month, I started making progress on 2 more. Cooking and Swimming - the latter being something I had wanted to do since I was a kid. Now cooking came effortlessly, probably from helping mom in the kitchen and asking her the recipes, and I became a good cook from my very first dish - now is just about improving it and experimenting a bit. Swimming needs to be learned still. Had my first lesson last week and I loved every aspect of it.

I am just happy that I took a proactive action to do things I have always wanted to do instead of waiting for the right moment! No moment is right unless you work on making it so.

Leia Mais…

Hello ME!!

It is good to meet myself again after over 2 months.. Back to enjoying life and being happy even after 13 hrs of work.. Back to saying a heart-felt "Have a good evening" to the security guard while leaving office.. Back to saying thank you with a big smile to the lorry driver who waited at the zebra crossing while I was crossing the road..

Being sick sucks big time and I become a grumpy old lady when I am sick.. Almost recovered now, I feel alive!! Back to being ME :-)

Afterall - "Zindagi Zindadili ka naam hai, Murda dil kya khaak jiya karte hain" 

Leia Mais…

To Each His Own!!

I always wonder why do people want others to be like them, to enjoy what they enjoy, do things like they do and think like they think. That's why we end up liking people who are like us or are like who we want ourselves to be. A person who drinks alcohol would like the others to join, bosses like their employees to behave like them. I like my sister to be like me :P

Aren't we all meant to be different? If so, then why are the people who are different usually not very welcome anywhere. Why are they always bitched about? I have suffered from being asked to blend in too and most importantly, I have been guilty of judging people who are different. We live in a world where there are no absolutes. Everything is subjective - there is no right or wrong. Who gives us the right to decide that we are right and the other person is wrong.

So many times when we end up judging people, we don't take into account so many factors - the background, the past, the family, the education.. Nothing is constant for everyone in the world, except for the fact that we are all living. We all have different set of conditions, even though they might differ very slightly. Hence, the comparison doesn't make any sense. May be if we had the same conditions like the other person, we would have been exactly like that person. So lets give people the benefit of doubt and accept them as they are!!

Leia Mais…

Being Self-Righteous.. NOT!!

Do you feel embarrassed about being right sometimes? About being a self-righteous person willing to put someone else down? Is being right and more importantly being acknowledged for being right so important? May be it is.. But is it worth it?

Two arguments with 2 close friends on something absolutely insignificant - that is my score for the week. Result - I couldn't prove that I was right, I upset them and then I felt down for making such a big fuss about almost immaterial things. And you know what is the worst of it all, I did not even apologize for what I did because I was too embarrassed about what I did.

No, I do not advocate that we should not stand up for what is right, what I am contemplating is that is it worth to prove that you are right about things which have no significance in your life whatsoever. Things which won't matter a few months down the road. I know I am guilty of doing it far too many times than I can remember.

Next time, I will try my best to not make a fuss about things that don't matter.. Spend some time probably to weigh the pros and cons of the argument before getting into one. One doesn't need to prove that she is right.. It is all about the state of mind.. And it is always great to be open to ideas and grow oneself even more as a person..

Let's not take life too seriously or make ourselves too significant. It is all about spreading happiness to whoever we reach out to.

Leia Mais…

Choice!!

My grandmother shared with me a wonderful advice over 10 years back:

" When we are teenagers, we think we have the power to change the world and set everyone right.
When we grow slightly older we realize that the world might be slightly difficult, lets stick to changing our country;
Some years later, we move to changing only the city, then only our society, then perhaps our family;
And right when our time is over we realize, may be we should have started by changing ourselves and the rest would have followed"

It took me over 10 years ( and thankfully only 10) to realize the truth of this advice. As of 12:30 pm today I have realized that managing myself is probably the most difficult task I have been entrusted with while I live. I should have been in the gym at 12:30 instead of cuddling up in my bed; I should have been blogging sooner rather than after almost a 7 months break.

Life is all about the choices we make, moment by moment. Some of these choices are the big life changing ones, while the others can be pretty small ones like choosing to write this blog post rather than day dreaming. Our life after all is a sum of all these choices we make. As Dalai Lama says that it is a human tendency to choose something that gives you pleasure or doesn't make you uncomfortable. However, one should rather opt for choices which give you happiness. 

A logical question is - Aren't pleasure and happiness synonyms? Well, no. Pleasure is something that lasts for a short time (might take you down for a guilt trip later) whereas happiness is long lasting. It might be uncomfortable in the start but it always leads to happiness, needless to say no guilt trips.

I now choose to be a bit more disciplined in life from now. The first step is to stick to the exercise plan for the Great Wall of China Marathon preparation. I have come up with a 5 days a week exercise program of my favourite exercises in the gym. And the second is to update this blog at least once a week.

When I named the blog "Lead the Change, Unleash the Development", it was more for leading the change in the world. From now, I change the context. It is driven more inwards. Lead myself to change and develop.

Leia Mais…

Mission Appreciation!!

Being bed-ridden for the whole of last week, I was unusually cranky this weekend. One of those times when you don't know the reason of your mood swing and blow everything out of proportion. Feeling like the victim of everyone's unreasonable demands, I slept last night. While leaving for work, I checked my mobile to find this message from Siddharth Bhaiya:

"Thank you! For more than just waking me up!:)"

Instantly, all my crankiness vaporised. I felt so happy, so energized to contribute more to people. On my way to work, I could just not stop thinking about the effect that simple line had on me and the rest of my day. There are so many people who I have not appreciated for their effect on my life, the difference they bring to my days.

We get so caught up in life that we don't realize that so many people go out of their ways to make the small little gestures of love which make life beautiful. Its funny how we always take those people for granted who care the most for us, people who should be made to feel special all the time. Lets appreciate all the amazing people in our life, even if its just one person a day. A simple line of gratitude and appreciation can add immense happiness to someone's life. So, lets break free of our hectic life and start appreciating people. Lets start Mission Appreciation in our lives for the entire lifetime. Just a small step to make this world much more beautiful! 

Leia Mais…

Being 21!!

Today is the last day for me to be 21. I kind of like this age and had a lot of interesting (good as well as not-so-good) experiences in this year. Some major highlights for me are:

1. Getting Jane into my life and being a mother :)

2. Travelling to two different continents (North America and Africa) making my count to be 5 continents so far. Now, I am only left with Australia and Antarctica to reach my goal of all the continents by the age of 25 – I can write an entire blogpost on my travel experiences but will leave it for now.

3. Living with a couple of important relationships across continents.

4. Graduating from university and ending the long phase of being a student.

5. Working in slums for the very first time in my life (and that too in slums with HIV positive inhabitants)

6. Giving some job interviews and reaching the final rounds for them – still looking to get selected :P

7. Driving at 110 miles/hr and for 12 hrs at a stretch in US where we had to drive on the left for the first time in my life.

8. Experiencing the uncertainty that life offers after you leave university.

9. Developed some new strong friendships – Archana, JD, Flora, Julie and strengthened the already existing ones.

The year had a lot of firsts for me and I enjoyed being 21. I hope that the coming year also brings with it millions of new opportunities and many more firsts. I hope I get to travel, learn, love and laugh in the coming year.

Leia Mais…

The most memorable day of my stay in Kenya!!

I can with full confidence call yesterday as the most memorable day of my stay here. It was a Parents’ Visiting/Prize giving day in Jane’s school and I decided to go. This time Julie (one of the interns at Living Positive and a very close friend of mine) also decided to come along. I was happy to see that Jane recognized me even after I had opened my braids and this time I could feel her exercising her authority over me, a pleasant change from the last time when I was finding it hard to explain to her that I am hers.. She was trying to talk to me with whatever limited English she knew showing me around, telling me how a snake entered their dorm and telling me that she has lost her plate already.

Apart from the normal Mom-Daughter bonding, there were some other aspects which made the day memorable for me:

Giving the awards

The Ceremony: African schools have a pretty fun way of singing hymns.. They all dance and they use a broken water barrel as drums and everybody sings.. Julie and I also joined and danced with the kids and the teachers. There were some plays in Swahili and poems and traditional dances. It was a good peek at the standard of the school, and the general running of the schools.


Helen, Jane and me

Prize Giving: Most of the awards were given by teachers and the manager but there were a couple of categories which were to be given by parents to appreciate their support and effort towards their child and to the school. And the Emcee called for “Shubhu” to give the awards for Best Teacher in each class. After 10 seconds, Julie and Lucy started tapping me to go. It was then that I realized that they had called me forward. Julie and I burst out laughing at “Shubhu” with every eye in the hall at us. I found it amazingly difficult to stop the fit of laughter which I was getting. And we pretty much laughed the whole day at the name..

Motorbike ride: Jane didn’t have a lot of daily use stuff so Julie, she and I went to the market to buy her stuff. Our mode of transport was a motor bike and this was the first time I quadrupled ever in my life. I was the last one on the bike and was sitting on the steel handle at the end of the bike. Every bump on the road was accompanied by a distinct squeal from me. And the entire village was running after us or making noises or jeering at the two Msungus. But all in all, it was the most memorable journey..

Goodbye: I had to tell Jane that I won’t be visiting her for a long long time now but I will call her and write to her regularly. The last image I have of her is wiping tears by the sleeves of her sweater, trying to wave bye to me and being held by her matron so that she doesn’t run after my vehicle. It took all my will-power to not go back to her – that would have made it even more difficult for her and me.

I probably didn’t do much justice to this post. Some things can just never be explained in words.

Leia Mais…