A different Dimension!!

While talking to Udit Bhaiya, I realized how different the dimension was from which I was feeling the pain of my Nanu Passing away! I still have my exams, lab reports, assignments, meetings, classes.. Its not like it would have been in India, where I could have stopped my life for some days and cried with my family. Life is going with as fast a pace here. Nothing has changed here, even giving me the delusion that I am seeing some bad dream which will end soon. Its difficult to talk to the people back home, the way they are talking to me.

But I have got good friends who understand me well and hardly leave me alone. So, I am living a routine life. Its also bad in some respect, because there is something stuck in there which is not going out of my system. I get distracted while working and then get myself to concentrate coz I know the deadline is approaching. Nanu wanted me to do well in my studies, in my career and travel around the world. And thats what I should concentrate on doing now. Thats what will keep my Nanu happy and thats what I should devote my energy into.

Had a talk with Maa and Nani today. The strongest females I know of. Gave me a lot of strength and energy :)

Leia Mais…

I love you Nanu!!

Dear Nanu,

Just came to know that you have started your journey to heaven sometime back. I really regret not being able to talk to you before you went so far far away. Actually, I am really trying my best not to shed tears when you begin a new life, but then I realized that these tears are not because you left us, You are now free of all the pain of being human. These tears are because I didn't fulfill some of my promises to you, because I know you really wanted to see somethings, because now I have no one to say 'Desh bada gambhir hai' every 5-10 mins!

I know how much you wanted to come to Singapore and I promised that once I graduate, Nani and you can permanently shift to Singapore. All the passport issues which happened, when you applied for the passport after hearing this promise, they just show how much you wanted to see my life here. I am sorry that I can't fulfill that promise now.

I know how much you were waiting for me to go to US next year. That you have already announced to the whole Kosi about this, and I was so embarrassed when people were talking about it all the time. How you have shown anyone who is interested to, all the newspaper articles, all my cuttings, writings and anything at all. How happy you used to become when I got even a simple thing right! I used to get embarrassed when you used to tell everyone about it, but later I realized its just your way of showing how much you love me and are proud of all the little things I am doing.

I have heard and seen how great a father you are! And I realized that when mummy just couldn't talk today and passed the phone to Gudiya Mausi. You will be really missed Nanu, your pampering all your grandchildren will also be missed a lot. Ani-Apoorva, and Anu-Avi still have their Nanaji and Dadu with them, but Saloni and I have lost the 2 people who used to pamper us the most (Dadu and you).

And I just realized that I never thought that you will leave us, so I never told you that I love you!

Yours,
Shubhi

Leia Mais…

I am happy!!

Just came across happiness after a long time! So,

Happiness is sitting with your previous MC team on one of the benches outside Gourmet cafe and laughing at the prospects of having either one of them as a Chair for an upcoming conference!
Happiness is also meeting all the wonderful AIESEC alumni who have done so much for the organization and are willing to do more so in the future.
Happiness is cracking random jokes with your Boss in the previous team and sharing all your workload of the current team!
Happiness is also finding a mentor in someone you give a call early morning and discuss your self doubts with her. And she listens to you and motivates you to a great extent to believe in yourself.
Happiness is getting a call from a company of your choice for an interview in about 5 hours time.
Happiness is having a good and meaningful chat with your interviewer.
Happiness is getting confirmation of your selection in that company withing an hour of the interview.
Happiness is hearing your dad say, "I told your mum that you will get through :)"
Happiness is getting a call from your mum in an AIESEC event being worried why you gave her 13 missed calls and then revealing that you got through the company you so dearly wanted.
Happiness is sitting with some of the team members and sharing with them about totally random things.
Happiness is getting the feeling of being competent again.
Happiness is sharing your happiness with a friend sitting in Finland :D

Leia Mais…

In the Name of God!

I finally watched he movie, 'Khuda Ke Liye' (In the name of God!). My interest in the movie actually came from my deep love in Pakistan and Afghanistan, which in itself comes from the great interest I have in Islam as a religion.

To be frank, the movie can be watched from 2 perspectives - one which might consider Islam as a very austere and rigid religion, the other which expresses that Islam is a religion, and what shape it takes in your life depends entirely on how you perceive it, how you practise it! I chose the latter perspective.

The movie makes you see the perspective of those people as well who might do anything In the name of God! Thats how Jehad can take so many different forms. The belief of these people is so strong in whatever they are doing that all logic leaves them. They are as keen to kill as they are to die. And its extremely difficult to make them see what impact that creates on the world.

But at the same time, it doesn't mean that all the followers of Islam are like that. Its just a matter of how the same religion can influence different people in so many different ways. How it can have so many different dimensions! The final objective of all this is to come close to God.

The movie also shows the Male Chauvinism so widely practised in Pakistan, Afghanistan and though not mentioned in the movie, I dare to say, the entire South Asia. Previously, I used to feel that Islam prefers males, by not allowing females to have more than 1 husband while men can have upto 3 legitimate wives. Then I came across the logic behind all this, and I actually started believing in it. And the male chauvinism is more of a culture thing than a religious thing.

All religions give you a way of living lives. They always have a valid logic and reason behind it which is very well explained in the holy scripts. To understand the religion with more depth and follow it, we need to understand the logic. If that logic applies in today's times, good enough, if not then we can chose to follow it or not!

Leia Mais…

Back to where I was!

It all seems like a deja vu to me but I am back to where I was exactly 1 year back! All the catching up in academics, loads of AIESEC work, personal life screw ups and no hope of anything getting back to normal! At this time, I again see the same solution : run away from everything and go back home, if only it was possible. But the way I am taking it this year is much better than last year! I think some things are just not meant to be and workaholics like me should just study and do AIESEC work.

Yes, I have definitely grown and matured a lot in the past year. I am more accepting to let people go, more accepting to work like a machine all day long, more accepting to be an island once more, more accepting while writing this post on a Sunday night knowing that its mid sem break and probably every creature in NUS and NTU is partying!

Before coming from Brazil, I was telling Tarun how afraid I was that things might become just the way they were last year, me working all the time and paying heavily for it, and he said that I am the most stupid person in the world! Somehow, it turns that I am not (unfortunately). Lets see how things shape up in the future! :)

Leia Mais…

Mid Sem Break!!

Yay!! The mid sem break is here... Even though my first half of the sem was mostly spent in Brazil, mid sem break is always very welcome! I think for me mid sem brings a lot of things. Here are the keyones:

• I can catch up with the studies :)
• Get to be an AIESEC machine and do loads of AIESEC work
• Meet a lot of people I am not able to meet otherwise
• Read some books
• Watch loads of movies :D
• Go for random outings
  
• Sleep till bored of sleeping
• Get to write all sorts of random blogs (this one included)

So here I go for an awesome mid sem break!

Leia Mais…

JumpStart! 2008

Before I forget, I want to write my experience and learning down! JumpStart (JS) this year gave me a chance to view a conference from a completely new dimension. I was the "Conference Manager" and the "Agenda Manager". Today at the closing I was very emotional, and the emotions were the ones which you get only when you have achieved something much more than you expected. To be frank with myself, I have kind of forgotten this feeling since December 2006. I am not saying that I did not achieve things or am among those vain people who think that achieving those things is almost nothing! I expect a lot from myself, sometimes a bit too much and most of the times, I cannot achieve as expected or just barely reach my target. But this time, I was able to get that sense of achievement and fulfillment which somehow was only predominant in my school life! And surely, it is one of the most beautiful things :) I did not achieve all this on my own definitely, and have a long list of people to thank for it! Specially Grace!

The best thing which happened to me was that I found myself back - the energy, passion, drive, zest for meeting people, which I was losing due to some things not going quite well, were revived. I still remember my conversation with Cheryl during IC about how we should not let our identity be affected by how other people receive it, and I actually did that in JS! The delegates are a major reason for this shift!

I learned a lot from my team too. The importance of team work, enthusiasm, love and the thirst for improvement and learning. The things which we always have in the back of our heads got reinforced. And I am now more confident of my abilities than I have been for quite some time!

Leia Mais…

In Love with Afghanistan!!

One week from now, I had just landed after having an awesome experience from Brazil!! And the past week had gone in studying, catching up with school, preparing for JumpStart! 2008, catching up with friends, hardly coming online and entering room late at nights and wondering if I will ever be able to unpack and clear my room... Today, I decided that I needed a break. Those who know me well will agree that my break will be:

• Cleaning my room : A happy workaholic as I am, my break will definitely comprise some work
• Reading a book : One of my favourite weekday past-times

I chose both.

I have just started reading the book, "Ghost Wars : The secret history of the CIA, Afghanistan and Bin Laden, from the Soviet Invasion to September 10, 2001" by Steve Coll (Co-incidentally, the date when the book ends, I start reading it - 10th September) Actually, my choice of this book goes well with my new found love for Afghanistan, a love which was conspired by the universe by a series of events.

On my way to Brazil, I watched "The Kite Runner" which covers the life of Afghans in a very touching way. Then I met Bashir from AIESEC in Afghanistan during the International Conference. He shared his experiences and the country's history and present. It was really great to see how the people who have actually gone through so much in life still haven't given up hope on the intrinsic goodness of the humankind! How much they are willing to build their country, to get different people into their country, how they have preserved their innocent child through all the tough times. And here I am, completely in love with the country!

The more I come to know about the country, the more I feel sympathetic for the general public of the country, the selfish of various countries surprises even more! There were deaths which could be prevented, there was destruction just to satisfy the egos of people and nations, there was chaos to invoke terror in people, there were rapes to make the young boys hate the world and be ready to kill anyone (their only fault being that they were born in Afghanistan). A country which is very strategically located, has some of the most beautiful landscapes in the world is famous only for terrorism.

And even now, people have a closed and narrow-minded mindset towards the country! Only the southern part is dangerous as the Taliban is taking refuge there but still no one is willing to go to Afghanistan! It needs the support of the entire world to build itself again, but how much help is it getting??

As far as I am concerned, I will definitely go to Afghanistan! I just hope that other people also change their mindsets about the country

Leia Mais…